Life in Beranville

What I Can't Do...

2012-02-08T18:05:00.000-06:00

I was feeling a bit sorry for myself. It’s embarrassing to write, but it is true. Poor me. Why me?

We think, Noah, our youngest has a wheat intolerance. And I believe I do too, except I have often chosen to ignore it. I know I feel better when I cut wheat (and dairy) out of my diet. But, do you know how hard it is to eliminate wheat in our modern day American culture? Do you know that (at least it seem like) wheat is in almost every processed food available to us? That means none of our regular store bought breads, pastas, granola bars, pizzas, cookies, cereals, etc. Not only that, many of our condiments contain wheat and so do Campbell’s creamed soups…and the list goes on and on.

I enjoy cooking, but I’ve never learned to cook completely from scratch. No, I’ve always used those shortcuts that are so typical in most American kitchens. Do you know how much more time consuming it is cooking completely from scratch? This means relearning how to make almost everything.

Then, the thought hit me, “We will never be able to go out to eat again!” No more Pizza Hut or McDonald’s…not that either are healthy or even my favorite. Yet, they are convenient and to think that we can never eat at those restaurants again…ugh! How will we ever travel to Indiana to visit my family without a routine stop at McDonald’s?!

One day my mind was fixated on all the things we can’t eat and how I was going to readjust our “normal”. That night I read our oldest his nightly devotional. It retold the story of Eve in the garden. Hopefully, you’re familiar with this true tale. God told Adam and Eve they could eat from any of the trees in the perfect Garden of Eden except for one. The serpent tempted them. They ate from the forbidden tree.

In Andrew’s devotional it pointed out that there were many different kinds of trees in the garden. God told them they could eat from all those trees except for one. And yet, when they were tempted, they chose to eat the forbidden fruit. This was the beginning of the fall of man.

This spoke to my heart on so many different levels.

First, this was a reminder that God has provided many other food options for us. There are many other grains besides wheat. In addition, we have a deep freeze full of Angus Beef (best steaks, burger, roasts, even brats and wieners you ever tasted!). We have whole chickens, sweet corn, green beans, salsa, strawberries and jam in the freezer. We have our own canned applesauce, jelly and juice. We have chickens that lay fresh eggs for us every day. Not only that, there are tons of wheat free options at our local grocery store (there are more and more gluten free/wheat free options available these days than ever before), plus various meats, fruits and veggies. No more McDonald's...so what? I get healthy, nurishing food!

In reality, I just need to change my way of thinking…and do what is best and healthiest for my family.

Then, it hit me. This is like so many other things in my life. Sometimes my focus gets stuck on what I can’t have or what I don’t have, rather than on everything else God has provided for me.

I am so blessed! Yet, sometimes I focus on the stains on my living room carpet more than the little blessings from God who made them. Sometimes I focus on all the things that are “wrong” with the house, rather than all the things that are “right”. Sometimes I wonder why I can’t do this thing or that thing today, rather than “one of these days”, and I forget all that I do get to do today!

In November, I stepped down from my role on the Rise & Shine Women’s Retreat leadership team. It was a tough decision because I love that ministry. It is especially dear to my heart because I was one of original team members who helped start the conference. I enjoyed my role on the team, and found my God-given gifts were well put to use. And still, I felt God tugging at my heart to step back and focus more on my number one ministry, one He also called me to…home.

It seems like it should be easy to make a decision to simply “stay home” with the ones I love the most. It wasn’t…and still isn’t. Of course, it doesn’t makes sense to continue doing something, something I was doing for Him in the first place, when He has clearly showed me that it is time to step back. And still, at times, I feel a grief rise up in me over the loss of this role. I wonder why I can’t continue on (even though, in reality, the answer is right before me). I know He has called me into women’s ministry, so it doesn’t completely make sense. Yes, I’m still coordinating our local MOPS group, and I enjoy that. But, why would God want to “take this away from me”?

Then, I am reminded of all that He has given! I get to be a wife and a mom! I looooove being a wife and mom! I love my family! Even in a culture that generally devalues these roles, He does not!! He has chosen me for these role. What an honor! In this season of life, home is where I need to be most. My husband and sons are gifts from Him, whom I get to nurture. He isn’t taking anything away, He’s giving me an opportunity!! Although sometimes I feel so inadequate, He equips me for these daily roles, and is building my character for future ones.

Not only that, it’s amazing that I ever got to be on the Rise & Shine leadership team in the first place! What a wonderful experience! I learned so much about Him, myself and ministry. I will cherish the memories, remember the lessons and apply much of what I learned throughout the rest of my life…even now as I get to help encourage other moms at MOPS.

Furthermore, I see all He has provided. Not only has He provided a way to eternal life for me through Jesus Christ, He provides all I need for each day. I reflect on the destructive road I was once headed down, how He provided a way out, and gave me this life, one better than I had ever dared to dream of. I’m not perfect, I still fail Him and yet, He forgives me again (and again). He continues to love me.

Another thought: sometimes people get so fixated on what they can’t do as a Christian (or if they became one) that they loose sight of what God provides for those who love, honor and obey Him. They don’t want to give up what they want, but forget about the peace, hope and joy it will bring if they surrender their will to Him.

In reality, I don’t want my way, I want God’s best…in all areas of my life!

No more feeling sorry for myself. I must change my focus from what I can’t do and what I don’t have to all He has provided! I am grateful!!

Could you use a change of focus too?

…be content with what you have, because God has said,

"Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." Hebrews 13:5

Have You Ever Had One of Those...Months?

2012-01-31T23:08:00.000-06:00

Well, have you? Have you ever had one of those days...weeks...months? You know, where everything seems to be going heywire? I have. In many ways, this January has been one of those months.

Let me share a few things that happened in Beranville this month:

The month started out with my husband, Alan, having an emergency appendectomy which included an overnight in the ER with no sleep for either of us, another night and day in the hospital and 2 week of "down time" for him as he recovered. He is rarely "sick" so this was all new to me. And, let me tell ya, it's hard to keep a hard-working farmer down.

Dentist ~ 2 cavities (that I get filled tomorrow).

Sick kids ~ vomiting, diarrhea, earaches. Then, Alan, and I had a stomach bug at the same time. We were up together in the middle of the night getting sick. Not a bonding experience that I recommend. :)

A head cold that just won't go away.

Some issues with my oldest son, Andrew, that are too complicated to write about in a snip-it.

More doctors visits this month than our family normally has in 6 months.

Stool samples for 4 tests, collected in 10 containers and ran to town 3 times in one week. The first samples I collected from my 21 month old's diaper in my minivan with two popsicle sticks and a rubber glove. All the while, little Noah was saying "Ucky!" from his car seat in the back. :)

Tons of research online. Trying to "self-diagnose" 3 different people that I love. Praying for healing for them... and several others in my life.

Then, the month ended today with blood work for Noah. Another trip to the hospital. The blood had to be taken from his arm and it took them 3 tries to hit a vein. I felt terrible.

It's been a bit stressful. Sometimes I handled the stress heroically, sometimes not so much. But, I have been reminded again and again this month that, although I can't change my circumstance, I can choose my attitude.

I refer to these verses often: "Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus." I Thessalonians 5:16-18

And this past week these verses have been such a comfort to me: "This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for He faced all of the same testings we do, yet He did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive His mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most." Hebrews 4:15-16

His grace is all I need. So I go to Him bodly, admitting my desperation for Him. And He understands my weaknesses! I can be thankful, even joyful in all circumstances. I keep praying. I keep pushing ahead in confidence. I can choose a good attitude because I know His grace is sufficient and works best in my weakness (see II Cor 12:9). I don't have to be perfect!

And I'm thankful, oh so thankful, that I can see all the good that took place this month too. Lots of eye opening, growing moments. The smiles, hugs and laughter. Good cuddle time with the boys on sick days. The fun family times in the midst of the craziness (like celebrating our Andrew's 5th Birthday). The way I have been reminded of how much God loves me, and just how much I need Him!

Tomorrow I will probably mess up again. But I know where to turn for an attitude adjustment when I need it most...and I need it most, all of the time. ;)

Goodbye January. Welcome February. Another month, another chance to choose a good attitude, to accept His grace and to be grateful. Yep, it's going to be one of those months! :)

What attitude will you choose?

What Did You Want To Be?

2012-01-19T17:18:00.000-06:00

What did you want to be when you grew up?

When I was a girl I thought I wanted to be a teacher. I lined up my stuffed animals and dollies and “played school”. Other days I would line up my mom’s daycare kids and do the same. I actually taught many of the kids to count and say their ABCs. However, the dolls listened better and the stuffed animals were quieter then the daycare kids. But either way, I enjoyed standing in front of my make believe class. I dreamed of making a difference in the lives of young children someday.

As my high school graduation neared, I thought travel and tourism sounded exciting. I even pursued a travel and tourism degree. Later, I worked as a travel agent and found that it’s not nearly as exciting planning for other people trips that you would love to take yourself.

As a 20 something I contemplated going back to school for marriage and family counseling OR cosmetology. I worked several different jobs...restaurant server, customer service rep, hotel front desk clerk, travel agent, office manager, etc.

Through it all I always wanted to be a MOM!

What did you want to do? What did you want to be? Did you ever dream of being a slave? Yeah, me neither! :)

Yet, that's what I'm learning should be my greatest desire...to serve. I don't mean being a door-mat. I mean, choosing to be a slave.

Do you think I'm losing it? Take a look at this verse from God's Holy Word:

"...Whoever wants to be a leader among you must

be your servant, and whoever wants to be first

among you must become your slave.

For even the Son of Man came not to

be served but to serve others

and to give his life as a ransom for many."

Matthew 20:26-28

As a Christian, a disciple of Jesus Christ, my desire should be to serve...as Jesus came to serve. And not just to serve (because doesn't every wife and mom serve?!?!?), but to serve as He did, not with selfish ambition or with a grumbling attitude, rather with a humble, gentle, loving, selfless spirit. Obediently serving out of the love I have for Him and the love that overflows from Him through me to others.

I can choose to serve, knowing nothing I can do will diminish my value and, in the same way, nothing can make Him love me more or less. I am His, my identity is safe with Him, and yet, He tells me to serve. It's not an easy thing to do, but it's what Jesus told me to do...to take up my cross and follow Him.

So today I desire to be a slave! A slave, eager to serve as my Master serves! To have a heart open to whatever and whomever He brings in my path today.

Yes, I want to be His humble servant. What about you?

Lord, I need your help. I can do nothing apart from You. I want to be Your humble servant, unselfish and yielded. I want to serve, as You came to serve. To be Your slave, your hands and feet. To love as You love. Let my desires be Your desires, my words to be Your words, my actions to be Your actions. I know You answer as we pray according to your will and so I believe today you will answer this, my heart's cry, as I also believe it is Your heart's cry. And tomorrow I will pray it again. Thank you, Lord Jesus! Amen.

"So those who are last now will be first then,

and those who are first will be last."

Matthew 20:16

Oh, to Love Him More!

2012-01-06T13:27:00.000-06:00

My husband ended up in the ER the night before last. Just a few hours after I said something I shouldn't have.

I spoke to a loved one earlier in the day. Someone who shared health concerns. I was reminded that life does not go on forever, that bodies fail and all people die. Even the strongest of us.

As I thought about and prayed for this person, emotion ovewehelmed me. I spent the evening thinking about all the things I take for granted. Of this fleeting life. Of regrets and goals to do better. I thought of the people I love and the way I wanted to show them more...much more.

In all the feelings I failed to see what was right before me. To recognize the seriousness of my husband's pain. The pain of the man I say I love more than life. The pain he had told me he was experiencing. The pain I thought would go away. He seems so invincible. He's so healthy and strong. Rarely complains.

In the uproar of my feelings, concerns and contemplation of life, a remark my husband made, made me angry. I lashed out with hurtful words. Even as I said it, I knew it was wrong. Emotions getting the best of me. Still I spewed them. The tongue is like a blazing fire. Oh, to control it!

All that time thinking about what really matters...and the one who matters right before me, get's overlooked. He got the worst of me.

As I sat in the emergency room with my dear husband, I had more time to think. 1am...2am...3am...4am. It was 8am before he made it to surgery. An emergency laparoscopic appendectomy. I did not sleep all night, but that didn't matter. What mattered was he was getting the help he needed. I apologized for my words. He forgave me. I love yous were exchanged...and we meant it.

On Wednesday afternoon I thought all was well. Although these health issues have been brewing where I can not see, and where I do not know, in my world all seemed well. How quickly life can change. Oh, to remember! To live each moment as if this is my last chance.

My pastor reminded us on Christmas Eve that this life is about relationships, relationship first with God and then with others. And so I vowed that this year, this new year 2012, I will focus more wholey on something that has already been important to me, relationships. To live more as Christ, less selfishly and more lovingly. To love God with all my heart, mind and soul and to extend that love to others. If I love Him as I should, I will love others as I should.

Only days into this goal and I blow it. Letting hurtful words slip my lips, in one of the most important relationships in my life. Then, my husband gets sick and I kick myself.

BUT HIS mercies are new every morning! And really every moment. I start again, reaching for the goal. Living in this moment. Wishing to see, really see.

My heart echoes the words of Ann Voskamp "O Lord, open the eyes of my heart, the eyes of my hands, the eyes of my mouth, the eyes of my feet. I long to live all eye."

I asked my husband for forgiveness. He very graciously forgave me, saying that he understood. He loves me. I asked God for His forgiveness. He forgives and gives me new mercies. He loves me too. And I am so thankful! I decide to forgive myself...not looking back, but living in this moment and looking ahead to what He has for me to do next. Reaching towards the goal.

I hope to take my husband home from the hospital today. As he recovers from his surgery, I thank God that it wasn't much worse. I thank God for another chance.

Henry Blackaby wrote, "Jesus does not need your resolutions, your recommitments, or your promises to try harder this year. If your resolve to obey God last year (or last week) did not help you to be faithful, it will not make you successful this year. Jesus asks for your love. If you truly love Him, your service for Him in the new year will be of the quality that He desires."

Oh, to love Him more! Which will lead to loving others better...and speaking words that are filled with His grace, rather than fleshly poison. Help me, dear Jesus!

Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,

for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22-23

May the words of my mouth and the meditation

of my heart be pleasing in your sight,

O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

Psalm 19:14

Christmas in the Real World

2011-12-22T19:34:00.000-06:00

I shared this quote in our Christmas letter in 2008. It has remained with me and I wanted to share it with my blog friends this year.

"Let us avoid the temptation to make our Christmas worship a withdrawl from the stress and sorrow of life into a realm of unreal beauty. It was into the real world that Christ came, into a city where there was no room for Him.

He comes to us, not to shield us from the harshness of the world but to give us the courage and strength to bear it; not to snatch us away by some miracle from the conflict of life, but to give us peace - His peace - in our hearts, by which we may be calmly steadfast while the conflict rages, and be able to bring to the torn world the healing that is peace." ODB

Into the real world He came, to save us.

When we make room for Him,

our real lives He changes.

I wish for you, real reading friend, a peace-filled CHRISTmas...

the kind of peace that is a gift only He can give!

"I am leaving you with a gift - peace of mind and heart.

And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give.

So don't be troubled or afraid." ~ Jesus

(John 14:27)

Let's Get Real! ~ Repost

2011-12-18T12:28:00.000-06:00

This is a repost from March 8, 2011. Read it myself this morning and felt the urge to repost it...

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to look at someone else’s life and think they have it “all together”…that they’re so happy…so “perfect”…doing so much better than us? Looks are often deceiving!

A friend told me a while back that she sees me and my life as “perfect”. I gasped and almost laugh out loud when she said it. “What? Get real!” I said.

My friends comment bothered me because I thought she knew me better than that. She knows my past (because she was there with me through some of the worst of times), but I guess she doesn’t really know my present.

She sees the thankful and cheerful Facebook posts, pictures of me and my smiling family. She sees the yearly Christmas letters and Christian blog posts. She doesn’t see the in and out, everyday life that I live. The dirty diapers, wiped tears and toilet scrubbing. She doesn’t see the messes. She doesn’t see me tired and weary. She doesn’t see my bad attitude and temper flare up like (it pains me to say) my husband and little sons do. These aren’t things that we tend to post on Facebook or put in Christmas letters, now are they? Nope, we tend to only put the best “out there” for the world to see, don't we?!

Although I’m very, very thankful for all God has done in my life, for His salvation and blessings. And although I continue to grow, learn and draw closer to Him as the days pass, I am not “perfect” and life is not constantly bliss. And I certainly hope that I’m not giving that ‘fake” impression to people. I want to be real! I want my friends to know that they are not alone in their struggles! We may not have the exact same struggles, but we all have some. If I'm always giving off this "better than thou" impression, it makes it difficult for others to be real with me. I don't want that!

I AM forgiven. I AM loved. I AM free in Christ. But, perfect I am not. The only perfect one is God and anything that is good in me, comes from Him.

The day I surrendered my heart and life to the Lord all of my struggles did not vanish. It is a daily process. Life is hard at times. I am all too human. There are times when I don’t feel very “Christian” (mainly when I take the focus off of my Savior and put it on myself). Have you ever been there?

There are days when I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders even though I know it’s not a weight I have to bear alone. Times when I don’t feel like praying although I’ve learned that’s when I need to pray the MOST! Sometimes past habits, thought processes and feelings rise up within me. There are areas where I feel like I should be stronger, more mature, yet I am not. I want to do better, but I battle my sinful human flesh. That’s because I haven’t “arrived” and the truth is I never will. And neither will anyone else, on this side of heaven. My friend is comparing what she sees on the "outside" of me with what she knows is on the "inside" of her.

Let’s get real! Life is not easy. God never promised us that life would be easy.

So what’s so great about being a Christian? God did promise us that if we choose to follow Him, He will be with us and give us the strength we need . Because I know the Savior, I know who IS good! God is good and I know He lives within me! The “old me” didn’t have the reassurance and peace that I now know. The “new me” wants to do better!

Today, despite what I feel or what struggle I’m facing, I know where to turn. When I feel those bad attitudes rising up inside of me, I know WHO can help! No matter where I am or what I have done, I know He is good and will forgive me when I sincerely come to Him. I know He is faithful!

When I feel unlovable, He loves me anyway. He is my loving Father who will never leave nor forsakes me…so in reality I have no need to be lonely or to give into my fleshly desires. When I am weak and weary, He will give me the strength I need. I have no reason to worry, I can cast all my cares on Him. Although I am not perfect, I am covered by His blood. There is hope for me because He is sooo good! Isn’t it reassuring to know we don’t have to be perfect to be forgiven?!

Let’s get real! My life is not “perfect” and I am not "perfect" (whatever that is)! But, His love IS perfect…and that’s what is real!

Do you know where to turn when you feel so much less than perfect? Do you realize that you’re not alone in your struggles? Do you know you are loved? Let’s get real with one another! Let’s turn to the one who IS perfect…and let Him change our lives forever! Let's love each other through all the imperfection...and grow together!

God is love, and all who live in love live in and God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world. Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear… I John 4:16-18

Rise & Shine ~ He did it again!

2011-11-05T16:50:00.000-05:00

It's hard to believe it has been a whole week since Rise & Shine Women's Retreat '11! After a full year of planning and praying, the day came and went. But, OH, what a day it was!!

I wish I had the right words to express the praise that is in my heart. I wish I could tell you just how thankful I am, how faithfully God answered our prayers, how powerfully He worked that day! I was, once again, blown away by all that took place there. But, this time it was different for me. And I can't put words to it yet.

The Rise & Shine Leadership Team with Susie Larson

(Leanne, Tammy, Susie, Judy, Rachel/me. Not pictured: Polly)

I thought I would have time to sit down this week and "hash over" my feelings. I thought things would slow down a bit once Rise & Shine had passed. Yeah, not so much! I must have been in denial. :) Life is busy (in a good way) and my days are full. So, today, I sat down with my notes. I honestly couldn't write fast enough while Susie Larson spoke last Saturday. I have scribbles everywhere. So many Holy Spirit filled words of wisdom to take in...and to pray will sink in deep! The way God spoke through her was absolutely AMAZING! How do I sum it up?! I don't know if I can. Thankful for her!

So, today, I write this blog post to tell you that I don't know what to write! Sorry to disappoint. On second thought, pehaps I do have something to write.

I serve an absolutely AWEsome God!!

10 praise points (in random order):

1. Susie Larson: absolutely the right speaker for this event!! One scripturally ground, Holy Spirit filled speaker! Such a delight to work with her. She is the real deal!

2. Answered prayers! Glory, glory, Hallelujah!! Too many to list!!
3. Twenty to thirty women made a decision to follow Jesus Christ...at a Christian women's conference, ya'll!!

4. God gave us a word as we prayed for R&S, emancipation. I believe that word fit the day very well. Lives truly were changed and women were set free. One of my favorite things from the day was praying with women up front. A powerful time. Praise the Lord!

5. Hannah Burkle from Rapha House did a great job educating us on sex trafficking and how we can help.
6. A personal one: I was sick an entire week before R&S. The night before I coughed and coughed, even kept my husband awake coughing at bedtime. On the day of R&S, barely any coughing...and I didn't cough at all when I prayed and introduced our speaker. That's an Ah-mazing answer to prayer!
7. Fabulous volunteers, including a wonderful worship band that blessed our socks off! And a production team that got the volume just right!
8. Can anyone say, Scratch Cupcakes?! Wowsers!
9. Sally Baker wrote (just for Rise & Shine) "Conversations With God", a devotional/prayer journal that we gifted to each woman who attended. What a terrific way to help women beyond just that one day! It is so cool to me how God brings so many talented people together to make all of this happen. I love the Rise & Shine leadership gals!
10. Getting to spend the day with so many (almost 400) of God's girls. Wow, what a blessing!!

More later. Now, I will sign off with one last sentence.

All glory and honor to Jesus Christ!!

Rise & Shine: Emancipation

2011-10-21T14:19:00.001-05:00

It's hard to believe that after a year of planning, Rise & Shine Women's Retreat '11 will be here in only 8 days! I am getting excited!

We've been praying for the retreat all year, but recently a small group of us started gathering to pray together. And this week we started praying for every woman who will attend by name. It's an amazing privilege to pray for these precious gals...and, in the past, it has been awesome to see how God faithfully answered! We're anticipating great things again for the third Rise & Shine Women's Retreat.

BUT something hightened my anticipation last week. When we were praying, one of our prayer warriors, Betsy, started crying as she prayed, then she shared a one word vision for Rise & Shine '11: EMANCIPATION!

e·man·ci·pate (/iˈmansəˌpāt/) Verb: 1.Set free

Synonyms: liberate - free - release - deliver - set free

This excites me! I love it when God gives us glimpses into what He is doing, so we can sit back and watch Him at work.

I am anticipating women being released from self-doubt and insecurity at Rise & Shine Women's Retreat...delivered from condemnation...set free from the strongholds of the enemy...liberated by God's abundant love...to "Rise" up and "Shine" as ordinary, yet extraordinarily loved women in a dark world, all to the glory of God!

Yes, we're praying BIG for Rise & Shine '11 and we're believing BIG too...because we serve a GREAT BIG wonderful God who faithfully answers!

Later, Betsy shared this verse with me: Isaiah 61:1b-3a "He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion - to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair."

You still have a chance to join us, get your registration mailed in...the cut-off is tomorrow (October 22nd). Click here to learn more. We would love to see YOU there!

Another Lesson from my 4 year old...

2011-09-27T15:43:00.000-05:00

Oh, the things I learn from my children!

A few days ago I yelled at my 4 year old. Yes, I know, I shouldn't do this. And, yes, I know how important my words are...and that it's not Christ like to yell...and that I wasn't setting a good example for my children. Yes, I know. I am ashamed of it. But, the truth is, I yelled. I'm sure you didn't assume I was perfect. Of course, this all out proves that I am not. As much as I love my boys and as much as I want to be the perfect mom, I still blow it more often than I'd like to. Thankful for God's grace...and for continued growth.

After I yelled, I felt terrible. I asked the Lord to forgive me. Then, I went with a repentant heart to ask my little Andrew for his forgiveness. I said, "Andrew, I'm sorry for yelling at you. That was't right. Will you please forgive me?" He said, "Yes, I forgive you, Mommy. It's okay." I said, "No, it's not okay, I shouldn't have yelled at you like that." He looked surprised as he replied, "It's okay, Mommy. I forgive you." I told him thank you and out of my own shame said I was sorry again. He said, "I forgive you, Mommy. It's okay. I already forgave you before you even asked."

Did you catch that? He already forgave me before I even asked! Wow! Tears flooded my eyes...unmerited, undeserved forgiveness before I asked...just because he loves me! What a relief! What joy flooded my heart!

I need to take a lesson from my 4 year old!! Do you also?

Instead of taking offense, holding a grudge, and critically looking at another faults; how much better to overlook and forgive...without being asked...not because it's merited or deserved...just because of LOVE!

Make allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you.

Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

Colossians 3:13

Potential

2011-09-15T16:31:00.000-05:00

This summer we had an impromptu MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) picnic at a local park. Five of us moms and our children gathered together for a little fellowhsip time. I took this picture during our time together.

A couple of weeks ago I was looking at this picture and thought about each of these kids - each so cute, so uniquely created by God (knit together in their mother's womb), each such a blessing, so loved and so special - especially to their mamas and especially to GOD. They have so much potential! One may grow up to be a doctor, another a teacher, or a missionary or the president of the United States (Lord, help them!)...and most likely many of them will grow up to be moms and dads. They could grow to be very influential people!

Then, the thought came to me, they're not the only ones with potential. God has a plan for each of our lives...and part of that plan for us moms is to be the best mom possible. MOPS Internationals slogan is "Better Moms Make a Better World" and it's so true. But, whether you are a mom or not, God has a plan for your life and you can make a difference in this world by touching the lives of those around you! You have so much potential in Christ! You can grow to be an influential person!

I only wish we could see ourselves, the way our Heavenly Father sees us. Our face doesn't blend in with all the others in "the picture". He loves each of us personally. He knows just why He created us the way He did. He cares about every detail of our lives. He KNOWS we have so much potential IF we will surrender our lives to Him and follow His lead. He has big plans for His children, plans that might surprise us...but we must look to Him or we will never fulfill them. We don't have to worry, He will give us all we need to accomplish these world changing feats if we follow Him closely day by day and moment by moment!

Now, let's live up to our potential!! Seek Him and His will and nothing will be impossible for you!

"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."

Philippians 4:13

"No eye has seen,

no ear has heard,

no mind has conceived

what God has prepared for those

who love Him"

I Corinthians 2:9

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord,

plans to prosper you and not to harm you,

plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11

P.S. There is a registration GIVEWAY over on the Rise & Shine Women's Retreat blog. You could win a FREE registration for you and a friend!! Rise & Shine is a great place to learn more about growing to your full potential. The theme for this year is: "Making An Ordinary Life Extraordinary"! :) CLICK HERE to find out how to enter to win!

Equipped

2011-08-21T17:36:00.018-05:00

I am the wife of one busy farmer. I am the mom of two energetic little boys. I am also a women's ministry leader, helping to organize a yearly women's conference. I am currently leading a women's Bible study. And recently I took on the role of coordinator for our local MOPS (Mothers Of Preschoolers) group.

Last week as I thought about all of my roles, I started to feel a bit overwhelmed. Especially as I looked at my to do list for the rest of August, September and October. As I have been facilitating a book about “Balance” for our Bible study, I wondered how on earth I was going to balance it all. I felt ill-equipped and unsure of myself.

But then, I remembered the call to each of these roles. I know with out a shadow of doubt in my mind that God called me to each of these ministries.

He gave me my wonderful husband and precious children. To be a wife and mom is a high calling indeed! He knew I was the right wife and mom for them...and no other can fill that role like I can. I take this role seriously because I know God does too. No other ministry tops this one in importance!

Recently I shared here about how the Lord clearly called me to be on the leadership team for Rise & Shine Women's Retreat. What an honor to be on this team for a third year!

A while back I felt Him prompting my heart to start a new women's Bible study. I have seen confirmation after confirmation that it was the right choice and am incredibly thankful.

Then, about a month ago, I again felt the lord pricking my heart to step up to the role of coordinator for our local MOPS group. A role I said “no” to at first. I thought I was too busy and had too much on my plate, but as I read “Experiencing God” by Henry Blackaby, I felt the Lord stirring my heart that I had said “no” too quickly and that He wanted me to join Him in His activity there. Funny, I was praying that leadership for MOPS would rise up to fill the call. He answered my prayer...just not the way I expected! I stepped into the role and gave up teaching Sunday school for a while.

STILL, I wondered if all of this was too much! Why did God call me (little ol' me) to fill all of these roles? Did I hear Him right? Could I handle it all?

Then, I read this, “When Jesus asks us to get involved (calls us), He already knows how He will accomplish His work through us. What we need is faith and vision – the ability to see that God wants us to be His instruments, and the He will supply what we need.” Randy Kilgore

Then, this, “Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your cause like the noonday sun.” Psalm 37:3-6

Then, I read this, “Jesus stressed a daily reliance on the Father, who provides for His children day by day...As the Israelites wandered in the desert, they had no way to get food. Miraculously, God provided manna that appeared on the ground each morning. God's provision was sufficient for one day at a time...God wants us to trust Him...it keeps our relationship with the Lord in its proper perspective as He reminds us daily of our dependence upon Him.” Henry Blackaby

THEN, (only one more!!) I remembered hearing Renee Swope speak these words at Rise & Shine Women's Retreat '09, “God doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called.”

I am CALLED and, therefore, I am equipped! The truth is: I can't do it, not on my own! But, through Christ's strength and the Holy Spirit dwelling within me, I (along with others) can accomplish His will. As I submit myself to Him, He will give me what I need from day to day, reminding me of my utter dependence and constant reliance on Him. If I will trust Him and commit all that I do to Him, I will see a righteous reward...spiritual fruit. Thank you for that promise, Lord!

The same is true for you, my friend! Each of us are called to fill certain roles in this life. Although we DO have to be careful about overcommiting ourselves, we also have to be open to what He has for us. What is God calling you to? Are you willing to join Him in His activity? If you don't know where He is leading you, ask Him. Then, be prepared to follow. Do you feel ill-equipped? Get in His Word and spend time in prayer. Remember He will equip the called...and go forward in faith!

One more Henry Blackaby quote, “God is looking for absolute surrender. We must have a willing heart to do whatever He asks, and then trust Him to enable us to do it...He loves us enough to involve us in His work, and He refuses to leave us where we are when He knows we could be experiencing much more of Him...” SOOOO TRUE!! Looking forward to experiencing more of Him, how about you?!

So we keep on praying for you, asking our God to enable you to live a life worthy of His call. May He give you the power to accomplish all the good things your faith prompts you to do.

II Thessalonians 1:11

AMEN!

Fresh

2011-07-27T16:47:00.001-05:00

As my young sons nap, I sit her at my table, now up from my knees beside my bed. Revealed sin confessed. Tears flow from a newly refreshed heart.

Forgiven. Set free. Renewed in Christ.

A fresh anointing of His Spirit came like a wave crashing over me, unlike it had in a long time, and I had wondered why. The barrier now gone. Tears.

Then, His words to my heart, "I love you, my daughter. I love you with an everlasting love...don't forget. Never let go of that love." More tears. Then, overflowing joy! I still can't stop laughing. Hands held high to Him.

Freedom. Peace. Unspeakable joy. Change!

A mile marker in my spiritual walk, no doubt. His refining work in me. Still basking in His greatness! My heart filled with overwhelming thankfulness that He chose me. That He loves me...always. That He met me here today. For the pause. The moments that time stood still just for me and Him. Together.

More of His words to me, "You are mine. Yes, you are mine and I am yours." Oh, thank you, Lord! All else in this house can wait. In this moment I bask in Your greatness. In Who You are - MINE. In who I am - YOURS, your beloved daughter!

Joy. More laughter of joy. Tears and smiles and praise.

Fresh revelation and a new beginning. Now, time to turn.

I Love You More

2011-07-09T14:50:00.002-05:00

Have you ever read the little book “Guess How Much I Love You” by Sam McBratney? Such a cute book. Little Nutbrown Hare wants to show his daddy just how much he loves him…as high as he can reach, as high as he can hop, as far as he can see. But, no matter how far his love reaches, his daddy tell him that he loves him further…reaching further, hopping higher and seeing beyond what he does. It soon becomes clear that our love is hard to measure. It’s a great book to share with the special children in your life

Sometimes I’m like Little Nutbrown Hare, I want to show my Father just how much I love Him…I reach as far as I can, do more, strive harder. But, no matter how far my love reaches, my Father tells me that He loves me more! He sees further and loves more perfectly than me.

This morning I wrote in my journal, “Oh Lord, I want more of You.” As soon as I wrote it something stirred within me. I walked away for a moment to care for one of my little ones. When I returned, I reread what I wrote…and realized what was wrong with this very “holy sounding” statement. I wrote, “Wait a minute, I already HAVE all of You!” It’s ME who has to submit all of myself to Him!

Jesus gave His life for me, what more could He give?

He chose me, I didn’t choose Him. (John 15:16)

I love Him because He first loved me. (I John 4:19)

I can never out-give, out-do or out-love Him!

It’s not about how high I can reach or how much I do. He loves me because I am His…and I love Him because He is mine! He’s given me all of Himself, all of His love. And I want to return His affection.

His love doesn’t give me the right to do whatever I want. This also doesn’t mean I should sit back and do nothing to further His kingdom. It simply means that:

He love me…

all the time…

no matter what…

always and forever.

And everything that He has is mine!

It’s not about what I do, but who I am…HIS!

Today I needed this reminder. Thought someone else might too.

“All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ. Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by brining us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son. He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins. He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding.” Ephesians 1:3-8

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My Rise & Shine Testimony

2011-06-24T21:11:00.000-05:00

Maybe you've wondered how a small town Indiana girl turned Iowa farmer’s wife became a member of the Rise & Shine Women’s Retreat Leadership team. Well, here’s the answer.

A good friend of mine, Jill, felt the Lord leading her to start a women's conference. She had felt this prompting for about 2 ½ years, but wasn't sure how she could ever pull something like this off. She kept praying about it, until it came to a point that she knew that it was definitely His idea and not hers. She shared the idea with her husband and a few close friends.

Long story short, Jill and her friend/mentor, Leanne, decided to take the idea to Orchard Hill Church in Cedar Falls, Iowa in 2009. Leanne had just recently started attending OHC. They were thrilled when the church agreed to host the event.

Although Jill and I only live a couple of miles apart, go to the same church and even share a last name (we’re married to cousins), we really only became friends months before Rise & Shine began when we connected at a Bible study. During that same Bible study, the Lord started stirring up thoughts in my mind and heart, especially ones about what my role should be in women’s ministry. One day, I mentioned in the study that I wanted to do something “radical for Christ”. This started a personal conversation between Jill and I, our friendship blossomed from there. Later, when told me about the idea of starting a women’s conference she said, “How’s this for something radical?”

Unbeknownst to Jill, also about 2 ½ years before this, I was at a women’s conference when I felt the Lord speaking to my spirit. It wasn't an audible voice, but I knew Who it was. It was like He said to me, "You're going to be part of something like this someday."

Yet, there I sat, I was pregnant with my first child, a farmer's wife living in rural Iowa…in the middle of “no where“. I thought, "What? ME? How could I ever do something like that?" I have to admit that I questioned the Lord. Did He get the right girl?! Still, joy rose up within me and I remember praying in my mind, right there in the midst of this huge conference, "I don't know how, but I believe that you will make a way, Lord."

I never told anyone about this. I actually filed it to the back of my mind. Every once in a while I would recall what He said, but still didn't see a way. I would say a little prayer about it and shove it back to it's little corner in my mind.

So, even though I know she expected me to be, I wasn't shocked when Jill came to me with this idea. I knew that I was suppose to be part of it, but I didn’t tell Jill. I just told her that I would pray about it...which I did. I was thrilled a few weeks later when she asked me to be part of the Rise & Shine team. Isn't this just the way that the Lord works? He opens doors where there doesn't even seem to be a door!!!

That first year was a real leap of faith for our team. None of us had ever planned a women’s conference before. We didn’t have any funds available when we started (not even to pay the speaker we had booked). We didn’t even know if anyone would sign up to attend . But, we prayed and felt the Lord prompting us on. We chose to step out in faith and obedience. We’re so glad we did! God answered one prayer after another, opened doors and showed us His faithfulness time and time again…and has continued to do so. This year we are planning our third Rise & Shine Women’s Retreat.

So many amazing people have come on board to make Rise & Shine happen each year, people who have such a heart to honor and serve the Lord. We’re just ordinary people who have been blessed to be part of something so extraordinary, something so much bigger than us. To God be the glory! He is so great, and greatly to be praised!

This coming week I again have an opportunity to step out in faith, to do something so beyond me…I’m going to be on the radio! Leanne and I will be sharing about Rise & Shine Women’s Retreat on our guest speaker for 2011’s radio show “Live the Promise with Susie Larson”. The show will air live on Faith 1090 AM on Wednesday, June 29th at 3:00 pm. If you’re interested in listening online, here’s the link:
http://www.life1019.com/on-air/listen-online/

PLEASE PRAY for me and Leanne as we seek to promote Rise & Shine well and, most importantly, to glorify God with every word that we speak, to give Him praise for the way He has worked through this ministry. We’re so thankful for this great opportunity!

Thank you for your prayers, it means so much to me (us).

In what area is God asking YOU to step out in faith today? God will use you in ways you never thought possible, and will make a way when there seems to be no way, if you choose to trust Him, obey and follow His lead. I find that incredibly exciting!! How about you?!

Mama Always Said (Repost)

2011-06-16T18:25:00.000-05:00

Have been thinking a lot about my mom. I didn't get to spend Mother's Day or her birthday, which was last weekend, with her. So thankful that we remain close at heart...and for cell phones. :)

I have also been thinking about my own parenting. As I've thought about the kind of mother I have and the kind of mother I want to be, this "old" blog post from February 27, 2010 came to mind. Thought I'd repost it in honor of my mom and with gratitude for all she has taught me. Praying that I can remember and teach my own children well.

As adults it’s easy to “pick apart” our parents. We often focus on the mistakes they made and the things that we want to differently with our children. We tend to forget that like them we are human, and our kids will find fault with our “perfect parenting” too (Ha! As if there is such a thing!).

Today I found myself instead focusing on all the things my mom got right. She’s taught me some things…some that I have applied, and some that I know I fall short of living fully. Still, I hope to pass on much of her wisdom, kindness and compassion to my children.

Thought maybe I’d share some her wisdom with you too. :)

Lesson 1: The golden rule, “Do unto others as you’d have them do unto you.” She taught me this not so much in word, but in action! If someone was in need she was the first one to jump in. She gave of herself without reservation, without laziness, without expectation of receiving anything in return. She often did these things silently, without bringing attention to herself, and out of the abundance of her loving, compassionate heart.

Which leads me to the next things she taught…

Lesson 2: Love others. Mom always has tended to see the best in people. She loved some pretty unlovable people. She remembered many that others forgot. She even said to love that not-so-good-looking, mean, toothless bully at school! She would remind me that even he probably had a mother at home who looks at him through adoring eyes, and more importantly a Heavenly Father who loves him unconditionally. She reminded me that everyone has a soul, and potential as a child of God.

Lesson 3: Hold your tongue. Now, I must admit I have a lot of work to do on this one, but it’s not because my mama didn’t teach me! Mom would be the first NOT to tell you that you don’t have to say everything that you think. :) If it’s not nice, or uplifting, or really needed, maybe you should just keep it to yourself. Speak up when it IS needed, in kindness and love, and because of your reputation people will be more likely to listen. You don't always have to defend yourself, trust the Lord to defend and protect you.

I’ll be honest, there were times when I was growing up when I saw this as a weakness in my mom. I would often think, “Why doesn’t she stand up for herself?” or “Why didn’t she just tell them what she thinks?” Now that I’m a woman myself I see the wisdom in sometimes staying silent. Not that I want to be a doormat, or that I can’t share my opinions when appropriate (believe me I have plenty of them!), but there is something beautiful about a woman with a gentle and quiet, reverent and respectful spirit. God’s Word says so, I Peter 3:4, “You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.” My mom has an unfading beauty that you can not deny!

Lesson 4: Being a mom is the best job in the world. Tears came to my eyes immediately after I typed those words, emotions of gratitude for the mothering that my mom doted upon me, and the love that I have for my own child(ren). I remember my mom saying this to me when I was a teenager, and for the first time realizing the passion behind her words. She meant it!

My mom made sacrifices so that she could be home with me…even as a single mom (she did daycare in our home). She recognized the importance of her role in my life, and I never doubted her love for me. She took pride in and made being a homemaking mama her primary role (even in the midst of “bringing home the bacon” as a single mom). Our home was warm, inviting and a haven for me. Even though money was tight, there was always good food on the table, affection to be distributed and words of encouragement to be shared. I thank God soooo often for the example that she set for me!! (Note: I’m looking forward to her coming up to help me after Baby Beran is born, so that I can gain more wisdom from this child expert!) (Note: when I wrote this in February 2010 I was expecting our second child, Noah, who is now 14 months old)

Lesson 5: Don’t be lazy. That lady is a go-getter, I tell ya! For years, I thought she must be crazy the way she kept her house clean (even in the midst of watching everyone else’s kids!)…and kept herself busy. Like the Energizer bunny, she just kept going and going (hee hee) even when I know she must have been tired. She did her work joyfully, often humming the tune to, “Oh, how I love Jesus” as she went about her work. She gave me a real life model of the virtuous and capable woman described in Proverbs 31.

Hmmmm…come to think of it, all the things my mama taught me above are described in Proverbs 31...

“She is energetic and strong, a hard worker….Her hands are busy…She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy…She is clothed with strength and dignity...When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instruction with kindness…she suffers nothing from laziness. Her children stand and bless her…a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.” Excerpts from Proverbs 31:17-31

I could go on and on and on listing things that my mama has taught me, but I’ll stop here. I’m praying that I can be more like my mom because being more like her would mean being more like Jesus.

My mom was not perfect, God is the only perfect parent, but she sure was good…and still is!!

I LOVE and APPRECIATE you, Mom!!

Tell me, what did your mama always say? What did she teach you without words? I’d love to hear!

Stop that Whining!

2011-05-26T17:08:00.000-05:00

Noah (13 mo) is teething. His gums are swollen. His diapers are icky. His little bottom is sore. I feel bad for him.

A few days ago, our normally very pleasant little man was rather whiney. Not sure why, but Andrew (4) seemed to join him in his whining spell.

Although I felt sorry for Noah and I love my children more than words can express, by that afternoon, I was feeling, let’s say, a bit stressed.

I started talking to the Lord, “Do you hear these kids? I don’t know how much more whining I can take. I mean, I’m doing everything I can for them and it still doesn’t seem good enough. They don’t appreciate all I do for them…blah, blah, blah.”

You get the picture. Yep, before I knew it, I realized I was having a big ol’ pity party for little ol’ me, me, me.

Suddenly it occurred to me…I was whining to my Heavenly Father about my children whining to me! Oh boy! I know God isn’t a human like me, but I can just imagine if He were, He would have been rolling His eyes at me. (Glad He doesn’t do that!)

Honestly, what do I have to whine about?! God has blessed me and my family!! He’s done so much for us! Why would I grumble to Him?

It’s amazing how quickly I can let my emotions get away from me. When I get worn down, tired or stressed, I can too easily lose perspective. Something so very small can temporarily steal my joy. Have you ever been there?

I have two GREAT kids! They’re healthy, precious and beautiful! They are a BLESSING from Him! It is an honor to be their mommy and to be able to stay home with them each day. Oh, and normally, they aren’t whiney children either. :)

I have a fabulous, hard working, supportive husband...a nice home...great friends...clothes…food…even a sleep number bed. :) My list of blessings goes on and on.

The greatest blessing: I have a Savior! A Savior who died for me, so that I don’t have to. A Savior who loves me, protects me, blesses me. A Savior whose very own Holy Spirit dwells inside of me, leading me every day. I don’t have to navigate life alone.

All of the above are God’s abundant blessings! Reasons not to whine…ever. He has shown His faithfulness to me over and over. Now, to remember!

I knew that day that I needed to refocus, to stop the whining, so I could count my blessings! I changed my whiney prayer into a prayer of thanksgiving. Although our struggles and blessings are undoubtedly not the same, will you join me in thankfulness?

Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances…

I Thessalonians 5:16-18

Lord, thank you for all the blessings in my life and for loving me despite my whining. Please give me the patience that I need to lovingly parent my children. Please remind me that no matter what’s going on in my life, whether something big or something small that threatens my joy, that you are a faithful, loving Father. Help me to keep perspective, to recognize the blessings from You all around me and to be thankful. And I pray the same for my dear reading friends as well. Amen.

Tell me, what are you thankful for today? I would enjoy hearing from you.

He Gives and Takes Away

2011-05-05T17:39:00.001-05:00

Last month, in April of 2011, we experienced our second miscarriage. I was 5½ weeks pregnant. We had spent the past 10 days rejoicing over our positive pregnancy test. Quickly, our rejoicing turned to heartbreak. I cried, “Oh no, not again, Lord!”

We had our first miscarriage in September of 2008, between our two healthy sons.That time I was 11 weeks pregnant. It was a long, hard process and, because my body did not go through the miscarriage process properly, I had to have a d&c surgery.

This time the loss was quick and no d&c was needed. I was thankful for that, but it was still hard. The waves of grief hit me and, although I knew it wasn’t the right question, I found myself asking God, “Why?”

My husband and I love the Lord. We live to honor and serve Him. We rejoiced over this pregnancy and gave Him much glory. We asked God to protect our baby. Yet, here we were, going through this AGAIN. It was hard to understand.

One morning I was doing my dishes, praying and listening to Christian radio. The song “Blessed Be Your Name” came on. “Blessed be the name of the Lord…you give and take away, you give and take away, my heart will choose to say, Lord, blessed be your name.”

I even surprised myself when I whispered audibly, “Why DID you take my baby, Lord?” So clearly I felt Him speak to my heart, “He was never really yours in the first place.”

To someone who doesn’t know the Lord personally this may sound cold and uncaring. To me, it was comforting. I knew what He meant right away.

Although I don’t think he literally “took our baby away” from us, I trust that whatever He allows to happen in our lives, is for our best and that He will use it for good (Romans 8:28). I know that He has a plan for me and my family (Jeremiah 29:11). I know I can trust Him, even when I don’t understand (Proverbs 3:5). I know He gives and takes away (Job 1:21). I know His ways are so above my ways (Isaiah 55:8). I know He holds us securely in His hands (John 10:28).

He is God and I am not.

I must remember that even the two healthy children He’s given us belong to Him. What a gift! What an honor to be able to bring them up for Him! As much as we love them, He loves them even more. That’s almost inconceivable!! Yet, how reassuring to know that all four of our children, two in heaven and two here on this earth, are in His hands. There’s no safer place for them to be!

In the midst of our grieving, we celebrated Noah’s 1st birthday!

Look at our precious gift enjoying his 1st birthday:

The Lord GIVES life...and life most abundantly!

Today I choose to rejoice in all that He GIVES!

No matter whether He gives or takes away, I will choose to praise Him. Even when I wonder why, I will choose to trust Him. In turn, He fills my heart with peace.

BLESSED be the name of the LORD!!

Find Your Purpose

2011-04-28T15:30:00.000-05:00

When I was a young girl I believed God had a plan for my life…and that it would be something grand. That I would grow up, graduate from high school and that I would venture out to fulfill my calling. I didn’t know what it would be, but I knew it would be something BIG.

My mama told me that I was a promise. Teachers told me I had potential. I believed there was a great purpose for my life. Oh, the glorious possibilities!

Do you remember that little song, “I am a Promise” ? I sang my little heart out to that song. “I am a promise. I am a possibility. I am a promise with a capital P. I am a great big bundle of potentiality…”

High school graduation came. High school graduation went. Still I didn’t have a clue what “destiny” I should be seeking after. I had no plan. I had little confidence. And eventually the idea of being such a wonderful promise began to fade. I realized I was just like everyone else.

The thing is: God did (and does) have a plan for my life. The truth also is: He has a plan for all of us. Often times we spend so much time thinking that we have to find out calling; thinking that we need to do something big and important that we miss one simple truth.

Glorifying God is our soul purpose! That’s why He created us! Once this truth penetrated my heart, everything changed for me!!

No matter what we do, where we are or how we get there, our purpose is to bring Him honor and glory! It doesn’t matter if you’re a school teacher, a stay at home mama, foreign missionary or a rocket scientist, as long as you do everything you do in His name.

Strangely, when we ask ourselves the question, “What is my purpose in life?” Hearing the answer “to glorify God” doesn’t really seem to satisfy us. We want more of a concrete plan laid out before us. We want to do something, to be something, to go somewhere NOW. We want to make a difference and we don't want to wait.

Not that it’s bad for us Christian to want to do something for Christ. As Christians we should have a desire to share Him with others. But, glorifying God isn’t just done in some big arena. We can glorify God in the everyday moments of life, no matter who we are or what we do for a living or what ministry we’re a part of.

God isn’t nearly as concerned with what we do as He is with who we are!

“I am the vine, you are the branches.

He who abides in Me, and I in him,

bears much fruit; for apart from Me

you can do nothing.”

John 15:5

I recently read some thoughts Henry Blackaby shared about the above verse, “In our zeal to produce ‘results’ for our Lord, we sometimes become so intent on fruit production that we neglect abiding in Christ. We may feel that ‘abiding’ is not productive or that it takes too much time away form our fruit production. Yet Jesus said that it is not our activity that produces fruit, it is our relationship with Him…If you will remain steadfastly in fellowship with Jesus, a great harvest will be the natural by-product.”

How do we glorify God? We must abide in Him. By getting to know Him personally. By loving Him (and others). By serving Him. By praising Him. By trusting Him. By seeking to honor Him with our every thought, word and action. EVERY day! In the ordinary moments of life. If we do this, the results will be great! If we don’t, our lives won’t amount to a hill of beans, even if we’re the most famous person alive. Apart from Him we are nothing!

God might send you somewhere grand, to do things that you think are way over your head, to fulfill a purpose that matches your wildest dreams. But, it all begins with abiding in Him...at this moment, every moment, of everyday. Don't underestimate the influence you can have right where you are today! Start there and the rest will fall into place. Be patient and ask God to open doors for you to share your talents. But remember, “fruit” doesn’t grow overnight! It is a process that takes time…and a lot of abiding!

Are you searching for your purpose? Or have you lost sight of your purpose? Start fulfilling your purpose today by seeking to glorify Him with you life. Wherever you go, whatever you do, whomever you speak to, be Jesus in the flesh. Live a life to bless God and others. It may not seem like a huge thing, but I believe the things we consider to be small things often add up to be the big things in the end. Just think of the possibilities!! No one else has your sphere of influence!

“If you are walking daily with the Lord, you will not have to

find God’s will - you will already be in it.”

Henry Blackaby

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Note: I am a stay at home wife and mama. Who better to influence the 3 lives in my home than me? I go to a MOPS group with about 10 other women. I can bless other women there. I have 4 little girls in my kindergarten Sunday school class. Seeds are being planted in their young hearts that I believe will grow to fruition.

I also serve on the leadership team that plans Rise & Shine Women’s Retreat each fall. Last year there were 350 women in attendance. It is such a blessing to be part of this big event! It’s an honor to pray for these dear women, to be part of something that encourages so many on their walk of faith. Yet, even equally fulfilling to me is making personal connections with a handful of them. I love being able to pray with them and to have opportunities to speak truth into their hearts long after the conference is over. Ministry is there too...one on one. It's so personal, just like God is so personal!

My point: it’s not about the numbers, it’s about planting seeds; seeds that produce lasting fruit. Glorifying Christ is never a small thing!

I like this quote from Jill Briscoe: “People often ask me, ‘What do you do on all your travels to faraway places?’ I answer, ‘I just try to make sure I am available to God and to the people on a moment-by-moment basis.’ That applies to what I do at home as well. In every part of my life, my job is to be ready to obey, ready to pour out.”

Something Ugly...Something Beautiful

2011-04-23T12:23:00.002-05:00

Jesus was mocked by the jeering crowd. He was beaten beyond recognition. He died a brutal death nailed to a cross. His side was pierced and He was laid in a cold, dark tomb. Yet we celebrate…because 3 days later He rose again!! He bore our shame and conquered death so that we could have life, life more abundantly! What boundless love!!

Isn’t that just like God to take something so ugly and turn it into something beautiful?!

That’s what He did with my life too! He took something ugly and made it beautiful. He did what I could never do.

I traded in my shame for His peace…my despair for His hope…my misery for His joy…my brokenness for His wholeness…my emptiness for his fullness…my sinfulness for His righteousness…

Life is good because HE is so very good!

That is why I celebrate! Rejoicing this Easter in all He has done for me. How about you?

HAPPY Easter!!

But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities;

the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,

and by his wounds we are healed.

Isaiah 53:5

The Good Girl

2011-04-21T14:10:00.001-05:00

Are you a good girl? I was the good girl growing up.

I was born to a godly mother, went to church every time the door was open and attended Christian school from kindergarten to 12th grade. I even asked Jesus Christ to be my Savior at only 5 years of age. I grew up with a strong faith and a great sense of who I was in Christ.

Somewhere along the way I became not only a Jesus pleaser, but a people pleaser too. I was the quiet one. Those who know me well now find that hard to believe. :) I was the teacher’s pet because I didn’t cause any problems, made good grades and did what I was told. I had a teacher tell me once that I made her look good. I was definitely eager to please…everyone. I thought I was pretty good.

As the years passed I grew weary of being the good girl who felt she could never be good enough. As hard as I tried to be “perfect”, I felt I never quite measured up to everyone’s standards for me. And I thought that certainly must mean that I could never please God either. Looking back I realize I was trying so hard to live the Christian life…but I was doing it within my own strength, not relying on Him.

Before long I became the good girl who didn’t really want to be good anymore. The good girl looking for the next “good time”. I strayed from my faith. I quit going to church. I would think about God, but I wasn’t living for Him. I was doing what I wanted. Making friends, going to parties, etc. It seemed like fun…and a lot easier at the time. I’ve heard it said that sin takes you further than you want to go and keeps you longer than you want to stay. This proved to be true for me. As I tolerated one sin in my life, it led to another tolerance and then another. Before long I became numb to it all.

On the outside everything looked good. I had spent some time focusing on the outside, making things “look good”, all the while neglecting the inside, what really mattered. Oddly enough, through it all many of my friends still called me “the good girl.” Yet, often when I would lay my head down at night I knew that I was not good. I felt weary. I couldn’t get away from the truth I had been taught…the scriptures I had learned. I couldn’t escape the Holy Spirit’s convicting power. Unfortunately, most of the time, I chose to ignore Him.

One day I finally came to the end of myself. I knew I was't good enough. In fact, my life seemed to be falling apart all around me. I was 27, broke and had just moved back in with my mother . I had recently ended a long term relationship with a boyfriend who was battling a terrible drug addiction. I felt empty, broken, miserable, like my life was going no where…fast. What seemed like fun, didn’t seem so fun or at all easy now.

I will never forget that day. I fell down on my knees and cried out to God. Literally crying my eyes out with my face down in the carpet of my little bedroom at my mom’s house. I told Him I could no longer live life this way. I couldn’t live life on my own, I needed Him! I wholly surrendered my life to Him that day. Life has never been the same! My heart was flooded with joy. I cried until I could cry no more. I finally became the good girl who realized I could never be good enough…be He is!

It didn’t happen all at once, it has been a process and that process continues. But, as I’ve grown in Christ, life has become sweeter and sweeter. Despite all I did, He has forgiven me, cleansed me and set me free. I have a new life! A life lived to please only One. Don’t get me wrong, life is not always easy, I still face my share of struggles. The difference is: today I know where to turn in those hard times. I know Who gives me strength to move forward. What joy! What peace! What hope!

This Holy Week I have been reflecting on all the Lord has done for me. God loves me so much that He sent His Son, who humbled Himself to be born to die a brutal death on a cross. He rose again to give me LIFE, not only for eternity, but life more abundantly now! He gave His Holy Spirit to guide, comfort and convict me. Today I am clothed with His righteousness. Not because I am good, but because HE IS GOOD!

Jesus said, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor - sick people do. I have come to call not on those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners and need to repent.”

Luke 5:31-32

Jesus said, “Only God is truly good.”

Luke 18:19

Jesus said, “I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”

John 10:10

I believe there are 4 kinds of people in this world:

1. Those who think they’re already good enough. Romans 3:10 says, “There are none righteous, no not one.” We all sin. We all fall short of Christ’s glorious, completely perfect standard! We all need a Savior. Yes, God loves us, but He also says, “If you love me, you will obey me!” Being “Religious” or “Spiritual” doesn’t cut it. Remember the people who wanted Christ crucified were religious people. They thought they were good enough…and didn’t want to be told differently.

2. Those who don’t want to be good. People who want to live life on their own terms. But, Luke 17:33 says, “If you cling to your life, you will lose it, and if you let your life go, you will save it.” It seems strange that in giving up your life, you can gain life, but it’s true. You can be made NEW.

3. Those who think they are too bad. People who think God can’t or won’t forgive them. But Romans 10:13 says, “ANYONE who calls on the name of the Lord, will be saved.” Anyone, everyone! It doesn’t matter what you’ve done or where you’ve been, He will forgive you and give you a new life. Nothing is too hard for Him!

4. Those who know they’re not good enough, but He is! Those who have humbled themselves to accept His FREE gift of salvation and daily choose to follow Him. Even though life is not always easy, these people get to enjoy the abundant life! Not because they are good, but because they have put on His cloak of righteousness. And these people should not be judgemental of anyone else because they know how much they have been forgiven themselves!

I’m so thankful that although I went from being everything from 1 to 3, that now I am a 4! Where do you fall on that list? It's never too late to become a 4!

Hiding My Dirty Dishes

2011-03-29T14:36:00.001-05:00

It was a Sunday evening. The dirty dishes were piled high in and around the kitchen sink. I’m a gal who likes to keep a clean house, but I tend to relax things a bit on the day of rest. A girl needs a day off, don’t ya think?! :)

Wouldn’t you know it, some friends decided to stop in for a visit. Hear me out here, I enjoy having friends stop in - I was just a bit embarrassed about the heaping mound of dishes awaiting them right there in plain sight.

My husband said, “Someone's pulling into the driveway.” As silly as it sounds, I rushed to the sink…and hid half (or more) of the dirty dishes in the nearby laundry area. I guess I wasn’t embarrassed that half of them remained. Things looked a bit more “presentable.”

We visited with our friends. The conversation was good and I was thankful they stopped in. Then, it happened, somehow the conversation shifted. My friend commented on how clean my house was. She even mentioned the lack of dirty dishes, noting that I didn’t have a dishwasher (seriously, she did!). She confessed that she can’t always keep up on things the way she wants to. Instantly, I felt like a fake. I felt the Holy Spirit prompting me to be honest. I decided to confess.

With a little giggle I opened up the laundry area doors and showed her my dirty dishes piled on top of the washer and dryer. She smiled and extended some gracious words. We then talked about how hard it can be to keep with life and household.

Later, I laughed at myself as I thought about that evening. I like to think that I’m a pretty “real” and transparent person. Yet, I tried to hide my dirty dishes…or at least half of them. Why did I do that? Did I think my friend would have a less favorable opinion of me if she saw my mess? Was it pride? I suppose it was a desire to look good, to appear well kept and orderly.

Yet, the dirty dishes were still there all along. Hidden or not, I still had to deal with them later. How nice to know I’m not alone in my housekeeping woes!

This all reminded me of how often I want to hide the “dirty dishes” of my life - past sins and current struggles. It’s easier to hide these things away. Why do I do that? Maybe I think others will think less of me if they knew my whole story (I’ll just share half of my mess). Maybe my pride wants to overlook my shaky past and current failures. I suppose it is a desire to look good, to appear well kept and in control as all “good Christian girls” should.

Yet, the “dirty dishes” are still there. Hidden or not, I still have to deal with them at some point. How much nicer would it be to know I’m not alone on this journey and to help a sister know she’s not alone either?!

You see, I think we Christian women all too often fall into what I call “poser mode”. Casting Crowns’ Mark Hall calls it, “Happy Plastic People…with walls around our weakness and smiles to hide our pain.”

It occurred to me after our visit that once I was honest with my friend about my dirty dishes, she felt free to share her dirty dishes struggles with me. Not only that, she had been looking for my mess and, as most women tend to do, she was comparing it to hers. I’m glad I was honest because she may have went away feeling bad about her own housekeeping skills, thinking I had it all together and wondering why she couldn’t do that same. That might sound silly, but we women are like that.

Ah, that’s how it is when we share the “dirty dishes” of our lives with others. There’s so much power in a testimony. As we share our story, it frees others to share theirs. As we transparently share our struggles, it often frees others to “come clean” as well - or at least see common threads that bind us together and gives us hope for the future. It’s so good to know we’re not alone in our struggles.

No one wants to meet a “Happy Plastic” Christian - someone unrelatable and perfectly put together. It’s time to get real - and share our history (and present) with others. There’s power in revealing those “dirty dishes” for a purpose.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think we should walk around airing our “dirty dishes” to everyone in sight. But, I do believe that being honest with God and others is freeing for us and influential on others.

I like this quote, “The only basis of real fellowship with God and man is to live out in the open with both.”
~ Roy Hession

Would you please pray for me as I’ll be sharing some of my “dirty dishes” for God's glory at our next MOPS meeting? I’ll be sharing my story with this group of dear friends on April 12th. Thanks so much!

Therefore, having put away falsehood,

let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor;

for we are members one of another.
Ephesians 4:25

The Great Human Epidemic

2011-03-11T10:29:00.002-06:00

Me. Me. Me. Mine! I want things my way...

Selfishness. I call it the “great human epidemic”.

Those who have had or have ever worked with young children know it’s true…we were born selfish. Watch two toddlers play together. It's all about them. What do they say? “Mine!” It’s one of their first words. Their little worlds are centered around themselves, their wants and needs. Learning to share is tough. Unfortunately, it’s not something we outgrow.

My 4 year old posing "selfishness" for me. :)

My own selfish tendencies irk me sometimes. Just think:

I have accused my husband of being selfish - for not being sensitive to my needs. Seriously now, who’s selfish? Now, that’s the teapot calling the kettle black if I’ve ever heard of it.

I have called a loved one to check up on them - then, been irritated when they talked about themselves and didn’t ask how I was doing.

I have felt irritated (and sometimes slighted) because my perceived “needs” weren’t being met. Because I was not acknowledged, served, noticed or appreciated.

I have had a virus and have spent so much time at my “pity party” that I temporarily forgot to pray for my friends who have cancer (or are facing other major life issues).

I have felt depressed and lonely because I was so focused on myself, on my own issues and my lack of ability to deal with them. So focused on self that I forgot the Truth of God’s Word and His unlimited power to help me.

Have you ever been there?!
I sometimes feel insecure because I’m thinking of myself. Have you ever recognized insecurity as a form of selfishness? This truth was revealed to me through Susie Larson’s words in her book “The Uncommon Woman”. (I highly recommend that book!!) Why are we self-conscious and overly concerned with what others think of us? Why do we want to be perceived well? Why do we make choices in an effort to prove our self-worth? Because we’re thinking of ourselves. That’s called pride! Ugh! What a hard truth to swallow. Don’t think it’s true? Think about it some more. What is at the root of insecurity?

“If anyone would like to acquire humility…The first step is to realize that one is proud…If you think you’re not conceited, it means you are very conceited indeed.” C.S. Lewis
In my younger years I was shy and overly self-aware. I was so self-conscious that I didn’t want to say or do anything in fear of saying or doing the “wrong thing”. Really I was selfish. I wasn’t concerned about how this made others feel or about making them feel comfortable. I was concerned about myself and my own feelings of discomfort.

I still have feelings of insecurity creep up inside, but when I do I try to shift my thinking onto others rather than self. I ask myself what others around me might be feeling? How can I be a blessing to someone else? What words may those in my life (and sphere of influence) need to hear me speak today? Who needs to know I have a listening ear?

I use to experience internal anxiety when going to church or any group setting. I didn’t like this feeing…and it just didn’t seem right to me. I realized it was a form of selfishness (focus on self). I decided to start praying before (and even during) church (and other meetings) for the Lord to help me to be a blessing to someone else there that day. I prayed that He would show me someone I could encourage or “love on” in that place. He did. And it took my focus off of myself and onto God and others. I continue to pray these prayers often. These days when those feelings of insecurity and anxiety start to creep up, I’m a lot quicker to recognize it as selfishness and take it to the cross.

Self*ish: adj. concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself : seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others.
Self*ish*ness: n. exclusive regard to one's own interest or happiness; that supreme self-love or self-preference which leads a person to direct his purposes to the advancement of his own interest, power, or happiness, without regarding those of others.

Selfishness is a form of pride. Selfishness and pride lead to many other sins and losses. Think about it: marriages end, families and friends are divided, there is church dissension and separation because of selfishness and pride.

“I deserve better!” ~ “I deserve to be happy.” ~ Why should I have to say I’m sorry?” ~ “Why should I forgive them?” ~ “I’m right, they’re wrong.” ~ “They should try to see things my way.”
Jealousy. Arrogance. Criticism. All begin with selfishness and pride.

“Pride goes before destruction, and haughtiness before a fall.” Proverbs 16:18

God’s Word tells us over and over that we must humble ourselves. I believe if we were truly humble we wouldn’t think so selfishly…and humility is the opposite of pride.

Philippians 2:3-4 says, “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble. Thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.”

Wow! It goes on to say in verses 5-8, “You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to (or grasp or to use to His advantage). Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave…he humbled himself in obedience to God.”

Oh, to be as humble and selfless as Jesus! Oh, how life would be different if we took the focus off or ourselves and onto His work - loving God and loving others. It sometimes feel like a lofty goal for this all-too-human human, but truly it’s within our reach. Later in Philippians 2 (vs. 13) it says that God is working in us, giving us the desire and power to do what pleases Him.

We can’t do it on our own. But, by God’s grace we can combat selfishness and live the Christian life - looking to Him, rather than to self, to do what pleases Him.

I do believe that selfishness is the human epidemic. But, there is hope! This epidemic has a cure. It’s called following Jesus. The more closely we follow Him; the more focused we are on Him (and not on self) the less room there will be for selfishness. Oh, and we can teach our children (even toddlers!) by living it in front of them.

“If any of you want to be my follower, you must take up your cross and follow me.” Matthew 16:24

“Sin is no longer your master, for you no longer live under the requirements of the law. Instead, you live under the freedom of God’s grace.” Romans 6:14

Freedom and Joy...

Looks a little different, doesn't it?!

How can you take the focus off of yourself today? It starts with looking at HIM, then others. Pray first, then act. Who needs you to reach out to them today? Who could use an encouraging word, a helpful hand, or a listening ear? How can you help to stop the “Great Human Epidemic”?

How can I pray for you today?

Let's Get Real!

2011-03-08T16:00:00.001-06:00

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to look at someone else’s life and think they have it “all together”…that they’re so happy…so “perfect”…doing so much better than us? Looks are often deceiving!

A friend told me a while back that she sees me and my life as “perfect”. I gasped and almost laugh out loud when she said it. “What? Get real!” I said.

My friends comment bothered me because I thought she knew me better than that. She knows my past (because she was there with me through some of the worst of times), but I guess she doesn’t really know my present.

She sees the thankful and cheerful Facebook posts, pictures of me and my smiling family. She sees the yearly Christmas letters and Christian blog posts. She doesn’t see the in and out, everyday life that I live. The dirty diapers, wiped tears and toilet scrubbing. She doesn’t see the messes. She doesn’t see me tired and weary. She doesn’t see my bad attitude and temper flare up like (it pains me to say) my husband and little sons do. These aren’t things that we tend to post on Facebook or put in Christmas letters, now are they? Nope, we tend to only put the best “out there” for the world to see, don't we?!

Although I’m very, very thankful for all God has done in my life, for His salvation and blessings. And although I continue to grow, learn and draw closer to Him as the days pass, I am not “perfect” and life is not constantly bliss. And I certainly hope that I’m not giving that ‘fake” impression to people. I want to be real! I want my friends to know that they are not alone in their struggles! We may not have the exact same struggles, but we all have some. If I'm always giving off this "better than thou" impression, it makes it difficult for others to be real with me. I don't want that!

I AM forgiven. I AM loved. I AM free in Christ. But, perfect I am not. The only perfect one is God and anything that is good in me, comes from Him.

The day I surrendered my heart and life to the Lord all of my struggles did not vanish. Life is hard at times. I am all too human. There are times when I don’t feel very “Christian” (mainly when I take the focus off of my Savior and put it on myself). Have you ever been there? There are days when I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders even though I know it’s not a weight I have to bear alone. Times when I don’t feel like praying although I’ve learned that’s when I need to pray the MOST! Sometimes past habits, thought processes and feelings rise up within me. There are areas where I feel like I should be stronger, more mature, yet I am not. I want to do better, but I battle my sinful human flesh. That’s because I haven’t “arrived” and the truth is I never will. And neither will anyone else, on this side of heaven.

Let’s get real! Life is not easy. God never promised us that life would be easy.

So what’s so great about being a Christian? God did promise us that if we choose to follow Him, He will be with us and give us the strength we need . Because I know the Savior, I know who IS good! God is good and I know He lives within me! The “old me” didn’t have the reassurance and peace that I now know. The “new me” wants to do better!

Today, despite what I feel or what struggle I’m facing, I know where to turn. When I feel those bad attitudes rising up inside of me, I know WHO can help! No matter where I am or what I have done, I know He is good and will forgive me when I sincerely come to Him. He is faithful!

When I feel unlovable, He loves me anyway. He is my loving Father who will never leave nor forsakes me…so in reality I have no need to be lonely or to give into my fleshly desires. When I am weak and weary, He will give me the strength I need. I have no reason to worry, I can cast all my cares on Him. Although I am not perfect, I am covered by His blood. There is hope for me because He is sooo good! Isn’t it reassuring to know we don’t have to be perfect to be forgiven?!

Let’s get real! My life is not “perfect” (whatever that is)! But, it is so much better with Him because His love IS perfect…and that’s what is real!

Do you know where to turn when you feel so much less than perfect? Do you realize that you’re not alone in your struggles? Do you know you are loved? Let’s get real with one another! Let’s turn to the one who IS perfect…and let Him change our lives forever!

Cleaning Up

2011-02-08T20:09:00.000-06:00

Being the mom of two young boys, I clean up a lot of messes.

Noah is in this stage, at nearly 10 months old, of flinging food from his highchair tray. He seems to take joy in seeing how far he can make it fly. He giggles and I clean up.

Some of you may remember writing about one of those messy days back in May, when I shared about Andrew writing on our light tan carpet with one of “the most washable markers in the world”. Yeah, not so much. That was a whale of a mess. A stain is still there.

On an average day at our house there is finger paint smeared, formula dribbled, and toilets misaimed (boys!). There is food dropped and bath water spilled. There are fingerprints on windows, mirrors and furniture. There are toys scattered about. There are runny noses and dirty bottoms to wipe. Not to mention all the laundry and dishes that never seem to end. Oh, and most recently, toilet paper rolls unrolled (over and over).

Thanks Noah. :)

Hey, it’s all just part of having children.

BUT I’ve come to learn that it’s better when I “stay on top of things”. It’s best if I clean up the juice on the linoleum (or the marker on the carpet) right away rather than wait until it’s a dried up sticky mess.

Most messes can be cleaned up rather easily, if they’re dealt with right away. If I don’t let me guard down and keep on top of it, the house won’t end up in shambles. Nor will it be as overwhelming to clean a little at a time, as if it would be if I left all of it for later.

You know, sin is kind of like that too. I’m starting to learn that when I stay on top of things, confessing sin as soon as conviction comes, I’m much better off. They call this keeping “short sin accounts”…in other words, giving account to God for our sin as quickly as we recognize it as sin. This means dealing with it “head on”. Confessing and forsaking (turning away from) our sin as the Spirit convicts our heart.

Our sins can be dealt with more easily when they’re not allowed to take root. If I keep on top of things, confessing and forsaking my sin as the Spirit convicts, I probably won’t end up with a life in shambles. Nor will it be as overwhelming as dealing with all of them at once later. It could save us from some “sticky” messes.

Oh, and even if our sin caused a whale of a mess (like Andrew’s marker on my carpet), NO MESS is too big for God to clean up! Confess and forsake. He will forgive and forget. His blood cleanses us whiter than snow. No stains!

Remember repentance is not a one time thing, it’s an ongoing process. We, as Christians, need to recognize sin in our lives as it comes. Confess and forsake. Keep things clean, friends.

But if we confess our sins to Him, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness (or unrighteousness).

I John 1:9

Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

Psalm 51:7

Do you have sin that needs to be dealt with today, friend?

If you've never repented, admitting your sin and your need for a Savior to cleanse you, this is the day for that too! Read the scriptures above. He is faithful to forgive and cleanse us from ALL sin! All you have to do is ask! That's the BEST kind of cleaning up! :) And remember there's no mess too big for Him to clean!

Prayers for Rise & Shine '11

2011-02-05T18:04:00.000-06:00

Some changes in leadership are taking place this year for Rise & Shine Women's Retreat. Changes that won't change the quality of Rise & Shine Women's Retreat. No, you can still count on a day full of blessings which includes a terrific women's speaker, great worship, fabulous food and some nice little details to pamper you throughout the day. But, things are changing a bit behind the scenes. We thought Rise & Shine's faithful fans would be interested in knowing. And we're hoping that you will be willing to pray with us as well.
Jill Beran from the Rise & Shine leadership team has prayerfully chosen to step down from her position for this year... PLEASE READ MORE by clicking this link to the Rise & Shine Women's Retreat page.

THANKS for taking the time to read the above link...and for praying with us!!

The Storm

2011-02-02T17:36:00.004-06:00

SNOWPOCALYPSE 2011 or so they say. It was a typical winter day here in northeast Iowa. Bitter cold, wind and a little more snow to blow around and drift.

But as I listened to the proclamations of weather doom for the Midwest yesterday, my mind drifted back to nearly 4 years ago when another storm raged.

My oldest son Andrew was only 3 weeks old when the electricity went out. We were facing a severe ice storm. When my husband Alan had said he was concerned about the power going out, I thought, “What’s the big deal?” I grew up in a small town in Indiana where the longest I ever remembered the power being out was 4 or 5 hours. He mentioned the possibilities…the complications on the farm, no power for DAYS. I seriously thought he was being overly dramatic (he loves weather and so I thought he was a bit excited). I sarcastically said with a rueful smile, “Days?!” He didn’t look amused when he said, “This is Iowa!“ He was serious!

I still didn’t take it seriously myself…never imagining that when the power went out it would stay out for EIGHT days and NINE nights! The longest eight day and nine nights of my life! I couldn’t be Amish, ya’ll!

When the electricity went off I wasn’t prepared for what came next. We had to pack up our stuff including everything required for a 3 week old baby (and that’s a lot of stuff folks!) and head up the road to Alan’s parents’ house. They didn’t have power either, but they did have a brand new home that was well insulated. We would run the generator 2 hours a day…1 hour in the morning and 1 hour in the afternoon/evening. Those were some long days. Do you know how quiet a house is when nothing is running, not even a refrigerator? Do you know how loud a baby sounds in the middle of the night without any other noise? Do you know how hard it is to play UNO by candlelight?

Today, it probably would be tolerable. But under the circumstances it was terrible.

You see, worse than the storm that raged outside was the storm raging on the inside…of me! I was facing down a severe case of postpartum depression. Not the baby blues. No, outright, suffocating, deep depression. The kind of depression that feels as if it’s gripping you around the neck and is pulling you down into a pit of despair.

Only a couple of weeks before I had been on “cloud nine.” The highest of highs. Rejoicing over the birth of my first child! I was thrilled to be a mommy. I had the most beautifully perfect son, a loving husband. My life was perfect, everything I’d ever dreamed of and I praised God for it! Yet, that didn’t keep the depression from seeping in. A chemical imbalance the doctors said and perhaps they were right. Yet, a spiritual battle quickly broke out as well. The Father of Lies saw his opportunity and took full advantage. It was scary. It was lonely. It happened despite the fact that I was a born-again Christian. Despite the fact that I knew God’s Word and His Truth.

The electricity came back on. We went home. My mom came from Indiana to help out. Still the storm raged inwardly.

I spent a lot of time crying. Wishing I would die. Wishing to not feel. Wishing I could just go to sleep. Yet, when I did sleep, I experienced terrible dreams and woke up in a cold sweat. Being a Christian, I felt guilty. Shouldn’t I be able to overcome this with my faith in Him? If I really loved my baby, wouldn’t I be able to "snap out of it" and think of him instead of myself? Boy, the Enemy was coming at me from every angel. If he couldn’t get me with anguish, suicidal thoughts and fear, he’d be sure to get me with guilt.

Torment! That’s the best word to describe it.

Despite the pain, despite the lies going through my mind, despite the darkness that consumed me, there was another voice whispering still. The Truth! Yes, the same Truth that fills my earliest memories. The Truth that penetrated my heart day after day, month after month, year after year before this storm came raging. As the lies of the Enemy filled my mind, the voice of Truth quietly filled my heart. Sometimes the words came through my husband, other times through my mom and even a couple of times from Christian friends. Sometimes (often to my own surprise) they came out of my own mouth as I cried out to God for help. Out of my heart flowed the Truth that filled it long ago, even though it was now harder to hear and believe.

I held on to small glimpses of hope. My mom read scriptures over me. She sat on the floor, crying and praying with me. My husband was my rock, solid and steady. Each of them pointed me to the Truth.

Like the storm outside, the storm within me eventually subsided. Thankfully it didn’t last too long, although it seemed like an eternity when I was in the midst of it. I saw the Truth for myself and I held onto it! He lifted me out of the pit and steadied me on my feet once more. Again I rejoiced over my blessings! Perhaps rejoicing even more than before, because now I grasped how blessed I was to have a God who protected me through the worst storm of my life. I realized how faithful He was, shining bright even in the worst of my own inner darkness. Despite the lies of the Enemy and the torment in my mind, God never left me. He saw me through the storm!

No matter what STORM you face, He is in control and will see you through! Fill your mind with His Truth! Prepare yourself now for the storms that come...and even as it rages, grab onto the Truth and hold on! Know there is hope in the Truth! TRUST Him to see you through...and be safe in any storm, friends!

"When the storms of life come, the wicked are whirled away, but the godly have a lasting foundation." Proverbs 10:25

Thank you LORD for your powerful, loving protection! You promised you would never leave nor forsake us, your children. Help us to stand on that Truth so that we can see past the storms of this life. They come to us all at one time or another, in one way or another. Help the Truth of your Word to penetrate our hearts in such a way that we will be safe even as we face the darkest of times, both inside and out, because of the hope and peace that we have in You. Thank you, dear Jesus! Amen.

False Advertising

2011-01-20T08:51:00.002-06:00

I use hair gel. More than my share. If you look at my picture, you’ll probably realize why. Natural curl! I use the gel to tame my curly locks. If I didn’t, I’d have an afro (seriously, I would!). My hair has become curlier and curlier throughout the years. So I have befriended the hair gel and some other choice hair products.

The gel I currently have says, “New! Wind resistant!” on the front. Seriously, wind resistant? Who are we kidding, folks?! Although it’s pretty good gel, I’ve never honestly come across anything that can keep my hair from being blown around by this many times fierce Iowa wind.

I see it all the time, false advertisement. Every product you see is “New and improved”, “Bigger and Better” or some fat free product “Tastes great”. Yeah, not so much. It’s like I’m immune to false advertisement. I expect it. I ignore it. I don’t take any of the hype too seriously. I don’t count on any of it to be true. I have an “I’ll believe it when I see it” attitude.

BUT I have learned to count on one source. I’ve learned that there’s one place I’ll never find false advertisement. God’s Word! All of God’s promises prove true (Proverbs 18:30 the verse on my blog header). I’ve learned that even when it sounds too good to be true, if it’s in God’s Word I can believe it.

My sins CAN be forgiven. I DO have a purpose and God DOES have a plan for my life. I AM loved and I CAN love others. In fact, I CAN do all things through Him who gives me strength. He WILL supply all my needs. I CAN experience true freedom, peace, joy and hope. His grace IS sufficient. His mercies ARE renewed every morning. I CAN know how to live because His Word gives me a guide.

Honestly, all of this sounds too good to be true. But it IS true!

Although my hair gel will probably never be truly “wind resistant” I know that I truly can resist the devil and live a life pleasing to the Lord…because the Bible, God’s Word to us, says so and I believe it!

What about you? Have you been in God’s Word lately? God’s Word is alive and powerful! Do you believe that the words there are words inspired and ordained by God Himself? Words that He wants to speak to YOUR heart! Do you know that God’s Word is TRUE, God’s Word is full of PROMISES to you and me and that God NEVER breaks a promise?

He is a FAITHFUL, LOVING Father who will never leave or forsake you! Even though it sounds too good to be true. You can count on it because His Word says so…and there’s NO false advertisement there!!

Love to you friends!! I'm going to go read my Bible and see what He wants to say to me today. Will you join me? :)

For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires.

Hebrews 4:12

Something In Common

2011-01-05T14:56:00.005-06:00

I am blessed to have friends. A wide variety of friends. As a young person we tend to have friends a lot like us…same grade, same age, same interests, etc. As I’ve aged I’ve made friends with some unlikely people.

I have one friend who thinks passing gas on demand is hilarious (my very lady-like mother will shutter at this thought!). I have another pretty little friend who loves going to yard sales (like me), but has to stop to re-curl her eyelashes and reapply lipstick between stops (unlike me). Then there is another friend who is a great fan of basketball. In fact, she “lived and breathed” it while growing up. Me, well, I’ve never been that interested in basketball, not even as a tall girl who grew up in the Hoosier state. I think I played basketball in P.E. a couple of times. I don’t recall liking it that much. (P.S. I do, however, enjoy watching our nieces and nephew play basketball now!)

There are more friends I could list, but you get the idea. Each of my friends are unique. Each of my friends are special. Each of my friends have taught me something. Some I talk to often, some I do not. Still, they are my friends…and we always manage to pick up right where we left off.

A couple of things I’ve learned down through the years: the old saying is true, “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover” AND Wilbur the pig from Charlotte’s Web (the kid’s movie) knew what he was singing about when he said, “We have lots in common where it really counts…What we look like doesn’t count an ounce. We have lots in common where it really counts.” :)

As different as we all are, we’re all a lot alike really. Perhaps we have different interests or talents. Perhaps we have different lifestyles or backgrounds. Perhaps our outward appearances set us apart from one another. Still, what’s inside is more alike than it is not. I don’t like stereotyping any more than I like to be stereotyped myself because I have learned that there’s a lot more to us than what meets the eye.

No matter what our circumstances we all have our aches and pains…whether physical or internal. We all have times of stress and times of joy…and all of us desire to share these times with someone.

We’re human beings which means we’re looking for happiness and no matter what happiness we find, we’re always looking for something else…something more. The successful single woman wishes for a mate. The married woman wishes for a more romantic husband…or for the “perfect” marriage that all of us grew up dreaming of (that no one told us takes a lot of work to achieve). The career woman longs to stay home. The stay-at-home mom longs for adult conversation and interaction. You get the idea!

We all experience times of loneliness no matter who surrounds us. We are humans with flaws, with insecurities and we make our own share of mistakes. We all have selfish tendencies. Yet, we all have a desire to love and be loved. We need each other.

Still, more than that we need a Savior! We don’t need a religion; we need a relationship with the One and only true God!

“For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.” Romans 3:23 BUT there is HOPE for those of us who believe!! II Corinthians 5:15 says that Jesus Christ died for everyone so that those who choose to receive Him can have a new life! AND "...anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!" II Corinthians 5:17

I’m thankful for my friends. I’m thankful for my family. I’m glad to know we all have so much in common and to know that I’m not alone in my feelings. I need other people. BUT none of these people can fulfill the longings in my heart to be accepted, understood and completely loved as Jesus Christ can!! No one else can free me! No one else paid the penalty for me! No One else can give me a NEW LIFE! No one else fills that empty longing like my Savior, Jesus! No one else can give me TRUE hope, peace and joy!

HE is that One thing that all of us need!

What do you have in common with the widow down the street? The old man on the bench at Wal-Mart? The teenager sitting across from you with her arms crossed? The teller at the bank or the cashier at the grocery store? I believe the answer is, way more than you might have ever imagined!

Who within your reach needs a loving friend today? Who needs to meet your Savior, the best friend of all? I encourage you to open your eyes and see, REALLY see, others around you today! You may be surprised what you find…and what friends you make!

I am blessed to have friends! I am even more blessed to have a relationship with my Savior, Jesus Christ!!

If you’re the one longing for a friend, I encourage you to reach out. Reach out to others and reach out your heart to the One who loves you…the One who created you and sent His son to die for you…the One who can fill those empty longings! If you have questions or need someone to talk to, please e-mail me rachel.beran@yahoo.com I’d love to talk with and pray for you!! I bet we have a lot in common. :)

Remember: No one cares to meet your Savior, until they’ve seen the reality of His love lived out in your life!

This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no greater love than to lay down one's life for one's friends. John 15:13

Christmas…traditions, memories and focus

2010-12-18T10:01:00.001-06:00

I haven’t blogged in a while. Sorry, I haven’t meant to be scarce, but the month of December brings a different focus for me.

December is busy…but in a good way. Busy with the fun stuff that memories are made of. Things like decorating a gingerbread house, stringing popcorn garland, making cutout cookies and wrapping gifts. Andrew and I have been having a lot of fun!

The snow in Iowa puts a twist on things and often makes travel from day to day a bit iffy (thank goodness for online shopping).

In the snow and ice we must make time for sledding (well they sled, I get out the camera and camcorder)! Oh, the joy of living on a gravel road!

Just trying to keep our 8 month old, Noah, away from the tree is a full time job! :) He’s crawling everywhere and pulling himself up to standing these days. He's growing and learning...and is very busy!

So far his favorite thing about Christmas is the wrapping paper! :)

I've been very reminiscent the last several days. I think Christmas tends to bring that out in me. I got to thinking about traditions. I don't remember many. I think my mom’s “tradition” was to do something different every year. We did a lot of fun things, usually involving making something, but we didn’t usually do it more than once. She always tried to think of something new and different and fun to do. Which I've realized was a fun tradition! :)

As I've reminisced about Christmas’ past, I thought of all kinds of good memories…from yearly stockings full to the brim with all the little stuff that I loved (that was my favorite part)...to finding my Christmas presents in my mom’s closet one year and being MORE excited on Christmas Eve than ever because I couldn’t wait to play with that walking, barking dog (that was GREAT technology in the 80s, you know?!) that I had found...to playing “bingo” with my family (siblings, nieces, nephews, etc) every year. I loved being with my family! My mom made every Christmas magical and fun and special! So the one “tradition” I cherish the most is the LOVE that I felt…every year!

One of the greatest memories had to do more with giving gifts than it did receiving them. A very kind woman named, Margie, offered to take me Christmas shopping for my mom. She took me to town, gave me a budget and told me I could pick whatever I wanted for my mom. I loved it! I loved it sooo much! She marveled at how far I could make the dollars stretch.

When I was done picking my treasures, we would head back to her house to wrap the presents. I loved that too! Margie was patient and kind. Her husband, Jim (my mom’s first cousin), was sitting in the recliner when we arrived. I thought he was so nice and I loved his teasing and attention. Wrapping gifts was fun.

I felt like my little heart would burst I was so happy! Just thinking about my mom opening these gifts on Christmas morning simply thrilled me! Then, as if that wasn’t enough, Margie appeared with a gift…for me! I didn’t expect it. I was thoroughly surprised…and sooo happy! It was a Cabbage Patch doll…a real one, not a knockoff, a real one! :) Valerie Imogene, that was her name. She had pretty red hair and I loved her. And I could hardly wait for Christmas Day so my mom could open the gifts I knew she was going to love too.

Margie took me shopping like that for 3 years (if I remember right). My mom still has some of the gifts I picked for her…and I still have all 3 gifts that Margie gave to me. What great memories! And it’s all because someone chose to go out of their way to be loving and kind!! Jim and Margie didn’t have to do that, but they chose to…and that little girl, now a mommy herself, will never forget the LOVE!

Andrew and I have enjoyed a lot of fun Christmas activities together this year (and Noah will join us when he gets old enough). It will be interesting to see what traditions “stick” and which do not. What memories they will have and which ones they will forget. But, above all else I hope they remember the LOVE that surrounded them.

This year, I can hardly wait for our little boys to open their gifts because I know they’re eyes are going to light up. I’m thankful for the time with family and friends. I'm thankful for the time I had with my family in Indiana earlier this month and that we get to spend time with my husband's family later this month. I pray these very important people will feel the LOVE that I have for them and HIS love shining through me! And that I can find ways to reach out to others like Margie did to me...without expecting anything in return.

So, I guess in short, this holiday season I am trying to spend time focusing on what is most important…LOVE. Although I often fall short and have to start all over again the next day, I’m focusing on my friends and family, my little ones and the little One who was born to die for my sins (and yours). He is the reason for it all! So thankful for the LOVE He showed...and continues to show to us each and every day!

No matter where you are in life...you can choose to do the same!

Make your own attitude that of Christ Jesus, who, existing in the form of God, did not consider equality with God as something to be used for His own advantage. Instead He emptied Himself by assuming the form of a slave, taking on the likeness of men. And when He had come as a man in His external form, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death-even death on a cross. Philippians 2:5-8

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13

NO GREATER LOVE!!

What is your favorite memory? Your favorite tradition?

Where is your focus this Christmas? I’d enjoy hearing about it!

MERRY CHRISTMAS, friends!

Praise the Giver

2010-11-24T21:19:00.001-06:00

There’s a lot of thankfulness going around this time of year. Yep, it’s Thanksgiving. The one day we dedicate to being thankful…when really we should dedicate every day of the year to it. Many retailers choose to skip right over Thanksgiving to concentrate on the “bigger” holiday, Christmas. I don’t like that. I’ve always liked Thanksgiving. I like concentrating on thankfulness and as a girl who’s love language is “words of affirmation”, I like hearing thank you as well.

When I was growing up, I loved Thanksgiving. We’d get together for a family meal with all the fixings…turkey, potatoes, cranberry salad, yeast rolls, pumpkin pie and about 15 other dishes (give or take a few). Then, came the most coveted persimmon pudding, my mom’s signature recipe. A favorite for each of us four siblings.

One year I remember it was unseasonably warm in Indiana, so we were enjoying our dessert outside. All of a sudden I felt something crawling up my dress. I felt “it” crawling up my chest. Out of impulse, I took the paper plate full of food that was in my hand, brought it to my chest and…I squashed the spider, but I squashed my persimmon pudding too! That stuff’s so good I ate it anyway!! :)

Like I said, I loved Thanksgiving as a young girl. Still, there were years when I was in my early twenties that I didn’t appreciate the holiday much. Although I liked getting together with family and stuffing my face (hee hee), my heart wasn’t very set on the significance of the holiday. It just seemed like a good day to indulge on food…even more than we normally did.

Several Thanksgiving Days went by without much affect on me. I kept a gratitude journal throughout the year (a wonderful gift from a friend) and I had heard Oprah (ugh!) talk about the importance of being a grateful person…how greatly it would affect my attitude and that of those around me. I was trying too “stay positive”. Still, something was missing.

Who was I thanking? Where was all that gratitude going? A person can be thankful ‘til they’re blue in the face and still be empty, sad and searching for the meaning of it all. I know because that’s where I was!

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.” James 1:17

Every good gift is from God! He is constant and doesn’t change. I’ve heard people say…and I’ve even said it myself, “The only thing that stays the same is that everything changes.” BUT, it’s not true…one thing doesn’t change, God doesn’t change. He’s the only thing that is constant, certain and unchanging in this life. What a great reason to praise Him!

My pastor shared a quote with us a few weeks ago, “Praise the Giver, not the gift.” I’m glad so many are thankful. It’s nice that so many are expressing gratitude for all they have in this life. Yet, I’m often left wondering Who are they thanking? Where is that gratitude going? Do they recognize the Giver, and not just the gifts?

I give you thank, O LORD, with all my heart. I will sing praises before the gods. I bow before your holy Temple as I worship. I praise your name for your unfailing love and faithfulness; for your promises are backed by all the honor of your name. Psalm 138:1-3

Even when things aren’t going so well (yep, had a few of those years too…and we all have our problems in life), do we recognize the Giver of unfailing love and faithfulness? There is always something to praise Him for! He will never leave you, nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). He will always love you unfailingly and will be faithful, no matter what! His promises prove true and are backed by the honor of His name.

Henry Blackaby wrote, “Regardless of how bleak your present circumstances are, do not lose hope. No one has ever experienced unfaithfulness of God’s part! Allow time for God to reveal His faithfulness to you. Someday you will reflect on what God has done and praise Him for His absolute faithfulness to you.” Amen!

This Thanksgiving I'm going to praise the Giver!! How about you?! Let's praise Him...not just for what He’s given to us, but for Who He is…a faithful, loving Father who’s promises hold true. The best way to truly “stay positive” is to look to the Giver of hope! Then, we can praise the Giver for the gifts He has given too! All of us have things to be thankful for, if only we are aware.

Oh, and if you ask me, if we would take more time for some “thanks-giving” (and not try to skip over it), Christmas would probably be a lot better celebration for more of us too. :)

Lessons from the Vacuum Cleaner

2010-11-15T21:58:00.002-06:00

Today I got out our handy, dandy trusty Eureka vacuum. I started in our living room. I swept away...back and forth...back and forth thinking about my to-do list. It took me a while, but I noticed something...hmm, it didn't seem to be picking up. The vacuum isn't very old and it normally works very well. I had a long list of things to do. I was in a hurry. I didn't feel like dealing with a problem. I kept vacuuming. I kept vacuuming...the same area over and over. It wasn't working. There was clearly a problem and it needed to be dealt with. I thought, "What a hassle!"

I took off the canister. Woa! It was full. I looked at the filter. Woa! It was clogged. I mean, it was really clogged. Why hadn't I noticed this before? Why hadn't I emptied it the last time I used the vacuum? I wasted all that time trying to vacuum...over and over...with a full canister and a clogged filter. It only took a few minutes to empty the canister...and just a few more to take a toothbrush to the filter. I couldn't believe the amount of dirt that I got out of the filter! I had to vacuum the living room all over again, with my "renewed" vacuum cleaner. This time it worked beautifully! I was so glad that I took the time to take care of the dirt and the clog...and wondered why I hadn't done it sooner.

Why didn't I deal with the full canister and clogged filter before..before there was a problem? I was so busy trying to save time that I wasted time trying to vacuum with a machine that wasn't working to it's full capabilty. Why didn't I stop to deal with the problem when it arose? The solution was so simple. I dealt with the dirt, the clogged up filter, and things went so much more smoothly.

I believe there' a spiritual application here. I'll let you figure it out...

I got up early one morning

and rushed right into the day;

I had so much to accomplish,

I didn't have time to pray.

Problems just tumbled about me,

and heavier came each task.

Why doesn't God help me? I wondered,

He answered, "You didn't ask."

I wanted to see joy and beauty,

but the day toiled on, gray and bleak.

I wondered why God didn't show me,

He said, "But you didn't seek."

I tried to come into God's presence,

I used all my keys at the lock.

God gently and lovingly chided,

"My child, you didn't knock."

I woke up early this morning

and paused before entering the day.

I had so much to accomplish

That I had to take time to pray.

Grace L. Naessens

AND I would add to Grace's words that we should also take the time to be in God's Word and to let God's Word get into us. Going to God in prayer and spending time in His Word...it will help us keep the dirt in our lives dealt with and our hearts "clog" free...allowing us to work to our fullest potential. :)

It is a Choice!

2010-11-10T15:26:00.002-06:00

At Rise & Shine Women’s Retreat guest speaker Lysa TerKeurst spoke on being “Prayer-full”. She shared I Thessalonians 5:16-18 with us, “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

Lysa shared that joy is not a feeling, it is a mindset…a shift in our thinking. She said, “sometimes our circumstances feel anything but joyful”, but we can choose to be joyful and thankful despite our feelings, despite our circumstances. Lysa said, “Feelings are indicators, not dictators.” So true!

Lysa went on to say that we need to “ask God for our daily portion.” Keep asking, keep believing, keep our eyes and hearts on Him daily. Praying continually shows our daily dependence on Him.

In my breakout group (a small group setting) at Rise & Shine we spent some time digging into Lysa’s message just a bit more. We talked about what being in the center of God’s will meant to us. Of course, being joyful, praying continually and being thankful came up again. One woman pointed out that you can’t really have one without the other…you need all three, they all go hand in hand. When you’re thankful you’ll be joyful, when you’re prayerful you’ll be thankful, when you’re joyful you’ll be prayerful…you get the idea!

I Thessalonians 5:18 does say “for this” (all three of those things mentioned before) “is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” To be in God’s will, we must be joyful, prayerful and thankful. Wow!

As I’ve pondered this more, I realized I had a great example of this growing up. I was brought up by my mom who, by God’s grace, is an extremely grateful woman. Despite some very tough, life-altering circumstances, she chose to see the joy in life. Life didn’t turn out just the way she thought it would, circumstances beyond her control left her a divorced woman and a single mom who was often scraping for money to provide for us. Yet, she constantly pointed out to me (and still does) how God was with us…was blessing us…was providing for us…was showing His love for us. She gave Him such thanks in front of me that I grew up seeing God clearly in those ordinary, everyday moments. Her faith was strong and totally intact despite circumstances. She wasn't necessarily thankful for her difficult circumstances, but she was thankful even in her circumstances! She prayed about everything, she saw how God answered her prayers and was quick to point it out to me as well. Her prayerfulness made her thankful, her thankfulness made her joyful. What an example!

I try to model this for my two young boys as well. It sounds easy doesn’t it? When we’re sitting in a Christian women’s conference being built up, encouraged, refreshed and renewed, it sounds so simple.

Of course we should be joyful always!
Of course we should pray continually (why wouldn’t we?!!?).
Of course we should be thankful in all circumstances.
Of course this is God’s will for us.

It makes total sense! BUT, when we get home, that’s the real test! When things don’t go our way…there are bills to be paid…kids fussing…dinner burning…frizzy hair…telemarketers…rising blood pressure…life can get messy. It’s easy to lose sight of all that joy and thankfulness we felt while sitting at that conference. Or maybe our circumstances are much bigger…like a sick loved one, divorce papers delivered, past mistakes coming back to haunt us…the list could go on and on. No matter what the circumstance, do we choose EVEN THEN by God’s grace within us to be joyful, prayerful and thankful?!

As we pray continually we will see how God gives us just what we need (not necessary everything that we want, but all that we need), then we will be thankful. When we live with a thankful heart, choosing to see past the circumstances to see the blessings in life, then we will live joyfully…always. When we are joyful and thankful we will prayerfully praise God and will pray even more because we will be keenly aware of how faithful He is to answer. They go hand in hand.

November is “Thankful Month” on facebook. Each day I am posting what I am thankful for that day. Honestly, I am so thankful for all that God has done that I find it hard to say just one thing. It has been a great reminder for me! As I think of the things that I am thankful for, I find myself full of joy and then I find myself praising God for it! I have a lot to be thankful for and I believe all of us do…if we only choose to be aware! Thankfulness is not a one month event, it is an every day, moment by moment, forever life changing choice!

Are our eyes open to all God is doing around us? Are we thankful for all the little, “everyday” life stuff that He provides? Do we recognize our blessings despite our feelings? Do we see the joy in this life, in our relationship with Him despite our circumstances? Do we choose to look to Him continually…asking for our provision every day, every moment? Do we say thank you, Lord?

I am thankful for Lysa TerKeurst’s message that has caused me to focus on these Truths. I am thankful God continues to work on these things in my heart. I am thankful that I can choose to be joyful always, pray continually and to be thankful in all circumstances…because this truly is God’s will for me, and you too if you are a believer!!

Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again - rejoice! …the Lord is near. Don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus…Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Phil 4:4-8

What are you thankful for today?

Rise & Shine 2010 ~ God is Faithful to Answer!!

2010-11-06T21:25:00.003-05:00

The Rise & Shine team with Lysa TerKeurst and her assistant Holly Good.

Me, Jill, Lysa, Holly, Judy and Leanne

It’s been a week since Rise & Shine Women’s Retreat and I’m still basking in God’s greatness. I still feel overwhelmed by it all! Not sure that I have adequate words to do it justice. And I know I don’t have adequate words to express the praise in my heart for all that God did there that day! I don’t think I can wrap up the day in a neat little blog post fit with a shiny red bow. :) So instead I want to take the time to praise, honor and glorify God for the way He showed up and revealed Himself to our planning team and me personally that day!

Pray, pray, pray and pray some more. That’s what we felt led to do. That’s what we did! And, boy oh boy, was God ever faithful to answer!!

The call to pray more, and more specifically, was heard loud and clear by our planning team this year. I shared a bit about our specific prayers in an earlier blog post, you can read it here.

I knew God would answer our prayers for Rise & Shine, but what amazed me is the way praying for these women blessed ME, the pray-er (and others who prayed as well).

“What a wondrous thing it is when God changes us! says Cheri Fuller. “As the Lord Jesus Christ becomes the focus of our lives, the eyes of hearts are opened, and we see more clearly His faithfulness and His loving-kindness…As we walk with Him, talk with Him, and behold Him daily in our lives, transformation comes. We are drawn closer to Him the more we come into His presence to intercede for others - and in His presence is fullness of joy.”

I agree! I have been changed as I’ve prayed for these dear women, and not only that, I have seen His faithfulness displayed clearly as I’ve heard and read the comments women have made about the ways these specific prayers have blessed them. It’s obvious that God guided our hands (just as we asked Him to) to assign their names to the fruit of the Spirit…and guided our prayers to effect them greatly. God revealed Himself in BIG ways…and I am blown away by His GREATNESS! I am blown away with how FAITHFUL He is to answer our prayers! I am blown away with what a PERSONAL, LOVING Father He is to each of us!! He knows each of us personally and knew right where our names needed to fall on that list…including my own!

I realize that we will probably never know on this side of Heaven about all of the seeds that were planted at Rise & Shine. I believe God was at work in mighty big ways! And I don’t need to see all of it to believe it. However, I did ask God to show us some very obvious answers to our prayers (like He did with the fruit of the Spirit prayers) so that we would know He heard, He answered, that He is faithful…and so that we could give Him all the glory. He did! He is faithful to answer!

We asked God to draw women by His Spirit to Rise & Shine…not a particular number of women, just every woman that needed to be there. There were women there from every part of the state of Iowa and also women from Wisconsin, Illinois, Minnesota, one from Indiana (my mom!) and one from Nebraska who specifically told me that she felt drawn to attend Rise & Shine! :) It’s not about numbers, but it’s about having the opportunity to minister to women. God is faithful to answer!

We prayed that when women walked through those front doors that morning that two things would be felt strongly there His love and His Holy Spirit. Although we wanted the retreat to be full of depth, we also wanted the women to feel loved on by providing fun things like flavored coffees and cappuccinos, homemade cinnamon rolls, comfy seats, chocolate and pretty decor. I am in awe of God’s goodness as I’ve heard women say that they felt pampered by all the details, were blown away by the love they felt there and how the Holy Spirit was felt so strongly that it couldn’t be denied. Thank you, Lord! You are so faithful to answer!

We asked the Lord to draw women into a closer relationship with Him at Rise & Shine. In the first morning session, our fabulous guest speaker, Lysa TerKeurst, shared her very powerful life testimony. Lysa clearly pointed women toward God. At the end of this time she asked women who had never entered into a personal relationship with Jesus Christ to do so. Each time a woman raised her hand to let Lysa know they had made a new commitment she acknowledged them by saying, “To God be the praise.” I sat at my table with my head down listening to her say, “To God be the praise” over and over and over…31 times she said it. Tears flowed from my eyes as I realized that each, “To God be the praise” represented a brand new life for one precious sister. Later, Lysa told us that she didn’t even say, “To God be the praise” for every woman who raised her hand. This blew us away! How overwhelming! Truly to God be the praise!! God is faithful to answer!

Lysa TerKeurst’s second talk was titled "Prayer-full"! When we first started planning this event and felt the call to pray, pray, pray, we didn’t know Lysa would be speaking on being “Prayer-full,” a talk based on I Thessalonians 5:16-18. Nope, we found this out just a couple of weeks before the retreat. As a few of us met to pray a few days before the retreat, I read the entire chapter of I Thessalonians 5 aloud. Imagine our delight as we realized the chapter surrounding Lysa’s talk mentioned EVERY ONE of the fruit of the Spirit. It boggles my mind to think of how God prepared us and all of the women who attended Rise & Shine through prayer for this Spirit-led message from Lysa TerKeurst. How cool is that? We didn’t know what Lysa would speak about. Lysa didn’t know what we were praying about. He knew!! He is faithful to answer our prayers as we are obedient in the asking! (P.S. I want to share more about Lysa’s “Prayer-full” talk in another post soon. Lysa spoke Truth straight to our hearts! The Lord is really blessing Lysa and her ministry as she conintues to obey and follow His lead. Fabulous!).

At the end of the day we asked the women to write a letter to themselves expressing what they had learned at Rise & Shine. We then asked them to seal up those letters, address them to themselves and bring them to the front. They left their letters there and picked up “a letter from God” (a few sentences taken from scripture…along with the scripture reference) to take back to their seat with them. We will mail the letter they wrote to themselves back to them sometime in the days to come. It’s going to be so cool to hear how the Lord uses their own words to remind them of His faithfulness! It has already been so neat to hear from women that the “letter from God” they picked up was just the “right one” for them. This was true for me personally as well! God is faithful to answer!

We prayed that God would be in every part of Rise & Shine…and He revealed Himself in every detail! I was amazed by the way He was seen and heard in the words of Lysa TerKeurst as she shared with us 3 times, the worship team, the smooth transitions of the sound and production people (and all the working equipment), the special music providers, the prayer room, the mouth-watering lunches from Scratch Bakery (you ain’t never had a cupcake ‘til ya had one from there!!), the wonderful volunteers who gave of their time, the beautiful décor, the “breakout reflections” time. Yes, His glory was revealed through every detail…big and small; through the talents and time given to honor Him! When we do the work He asks of us, He is faithful to answer!

On Monday, after the retreat, Lysa TerKeurst shared on her blog a story that she shared with us at Rise & Shine Women’s Retreat (and mentioned meeting some of us crazy women who live amongst cattle and fields and 45 miles from Wal-Mart! hee hee) Her post was titled, “Our Job is Obedience. God’s Job is Results.” Oh, how true! Oh, how appropriate! As we’ve been obedient to follow God’s promptings in our hearts, He has been faithful to answer! Thank you, Lord, for working through so many people to make Rise & Shine happen. The results are Yours and we are thankful!! To God be the glory!!

Rise & Shine was a lot of work, but it’s such a privilege to have a “front row seat” to bask in God’s glory…to see direct answers to our prayers, how God blessed women and every part of the day!

I’m now praying that each seed that was planted at Rise & Shine, whether it be a new commitment or a deepened revelation of who He is, will be watered and come to full fruition in the lives of the women who attended. I pray that all of us will remember that "rising" up to who God created us to be and "shining" His light with our life is more than a one day event! And I know God definately is faithful to answer!!

Is God asking you to be obedient in a certain area in your life right now? What is God prompting you to do? What BIG thing are you praying for right now? God is faithful to answer when our requests are pleasing to Him and we come to Him in faith believing!! Go to Him and keep going to Him again and again…leaving the results in His hands!

And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him. And since we know he hears us when we make our requests, we also know that he will give us what we ask for. I John 5:14-15

A few more personal notes (I just can't stop!!):

I loved the personal connections that I made with other women and the connections I saw others making! This was an answer to prayer. He is faithful to answer!

I loved how God prepared me as a breakout facilitator…I didn’t know how to prepare, but EVERY subject that came up during that time was something He had been working on in my heart in the days prior. WOW! He revealed Himself to me personally in that way as well! He is faithful to answer!

As we gathered in the prayer room to pray on Saturday morning, one of the gals from the prayer team said something like, “Before this day is over, this is going to be Holy Ground! They’re going to want to take their shoes off when they walk in here.” I thought, “Wow!” and said a quiet prayer in my mind that those words would be true. At the end of the day, a new friend of mine said to me, having NO IDEA what was said earlier that day, “Earlier when I walked in here (the prayer room) the Holy Spirit was so strong that it about knocked me off my feet. I felt like I needed to take off my shoes. This is Holy Ground!” Wow, wow, wow! God, you are so good!! You are faithful to answer!

Sorry this is soooo long, but I have so much to say…so much more I could share, but I have to stop somewhere. More to come soon.

Thank you, LORD, for the way you work and move in our very ordinary, very real lives! I am amazed and blessed to be part of something so beyond me!! Thank you for hearing us and being faithful to answer our prayers!!

So Much To Say...

2010-11-03T08:02:00.002-05:00

I can hardly believe it's Wednesday already...and I haven't even posted anything about Rise & Shine!! I have so much to say, but I'm still feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all. I'm still basking in God's Faithfulness!! I will share more soon. I have a lot to say, just not the time or words to express it all yet. :)

For now, I will give you some other sources to read...

This is what I wrote on the Rise & Shine blog.
This is what our guest speaker, Lysa TerKeurst, wrote about her time at Rise & Shine! A great post!!
Teske Drake who brought a fabulous group from Mommies with Hope to Rise & Shine..shared her top 10 of the weekend. Love!

More to come...stay tuned! :)

Goodness Gracious!

2010-10-22T09:26:00.001-05:00

Rise & Shine Women’s Retreat is only 8 days from today!! As we’ve prepared for the retreat the call to pray over the beautiful women who will attend has become increasingly apparent this year. We prayed for them earnestly last year as well, but this year we felt God impress upon our hearts to pray for each of them specifically BY NAME.

We wanted to pray specific scripture truth over each of them…and felt directed to Galatians 5:22-25, the Fruit of the Spirit.

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: LOVE, JOY, PEACE, PATIENCE, KINDNESS, GOODNESS, FAITHFULNESS, GENTLENESS and SELF-CONTROL. There is no law against these things! Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives. Galatians 5:22-25

As registrations have come in, we’ve prayed for God to guide our hands to assign the names to a specific “fruit” that will be especially meaningful to that woman. Although we don’t know many of these women personally, we know God does and He knows just what each of them need. We’ve prayed that all of the fruit of the Spirit will be displayed in and through them. Then, that God will work on this one particular fruit in a very special way in their lives at this time.

Let me tell you, it has been such a blessing to pray for these dear, dear women. What is amazing to me is that while praying for them, my faith has been increased. As I’ve prayed for them to be blessed, I, myself, have been blessed, shaped and changed. Prayer is powerful because God is powerful!

That being said, I have a confession to make...I was kind of surprised when my name fell under “goodness”. At first, I though, “Goodness gracious, my name fell under goodness! Really, God? Goodness? I mean, I know I need some love, joy and peace…but goodness? I’m good, right?!” I know, I know, how arrogant of me, right?! I’m just being honest here.

Within a few moments I realized the error of my ways. I knew we had been praying for each name to get assigned to just the “right” fruit and I knew that included my own. I said, “I’m sorry, Lord. I know there must be a reason my name fell under goodness. Please show me.”

I realized I probably needed a better understanding of the word “goodness”. I sat down with the definition of goodness, “what is beneficial, being good; moral excellence or virtue; integrity, uprightness.” I looked up “moral excellence”, “virtue”, “integrity”, and “uprightness” for further clarification. Then, I looked up these scripture references…

I long to obey your commandments! Renew my life with your goodness. Psalm 119:40

Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the LORD forever. Psalm 23:6

For the light within you produces only what is good and right and true. Eph 5:9

Do not withhold good from those who deserve it when it’s in your power to help them. Prov 3:27

Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good. Rom 12:21

I started asking myself some questions, Do I long to obey His commandments? Do I only say and do what is beneficial? His goodness and unfailing love are pursuing me, am I really aware? Does the light within me produce only what is good, right and true? Do I help others when it’s within my power, or am I too busy to even notice sometimes? Do I conquer evil by doing good? Is my life marked by His goodness…moral excellence, virtue, integrity, His righteousness? It became clear. I said, “Oh, LORD, I do desperately need your goodness to fill my heart and life! I need more of You and less of me.”

In the past few weeks it seems everything I’ve read or heard has to do with “God’s goodness” and the need I have for it. His goodness and unfailing love are definitely pursuing me…and I’ve noticed. From an e-mail devotional titled, “Do You Hate Sin?” to a chapter titled, “Speak the Truth” in a parenting book I’m reading, have shown me even more clearly the need I have for God’s goodness…what is good, right and true.

Goodness gracious, God! You are soooo good!! You know how to meet us right where we are!

What about you? Is your life marked by the goodness of God? Can others see Him in you, just by the things you do and say? Do you speak the truth in love? Do you long to obey His commandments which means hating sin? Do the things that offend Him, offend you? Do you help others when you can and conquer (which means overcome) evil by doing good? If we have made a commitment to love, honor and serve Jesus, then our lives should be marked by the Fruit of the Spirit...His Spirit living in and working through us.

Each of the fruit of the Spirit are important, but I know “goodness” is where my name was suppose to fall on that list…and just what the Lord wanted to work on in my heart and life at this moment in time. I pray that each of the women who will attend Rise & Shine on October 30th will find the “fruit” that has been prayed over them to be just as revealing and relevant as I have.

Goodness gracious, God! You are so good! Thank you for knowing each of us so personally! Thank you for being a loving Father who wants to grow us, stretch us and love on us every chance you get! Thank you for pursuing us with Your goodness and unfailing love. Thank you for revealing to me the need for more of Your goodness in my life. Reveal to me other areas that need work. I pray you will reveal areas that You would like to work on in the lives of those who are reading this as well. Thank you for loving us just the way we are, but also loving us enough not to let us stay there. Thank you for filling me and my Christian sisters with Your Holy Spirit…and reminding us to follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives.

P.S. If you’re attending Rise & Shine Women’s Retreat please visit the prayer room to find out what “Fruit” has been prayed over YOU specifically by name. We’ll have cards with the “Fruit“, the definition, and scripture references to go along with it. We believe it will be just one of so many blessings in store for you that day!!

If you have not accepted Jesus Christ as your Savior, you can choose to do so today. I would love to talk to you about it rachel.beran@yahoo.com

Just Listen to Me!

2010-09-28T19:08:00.004-05:00

“Listen to Mommy!” I said to my 3½ year old son, Andrew…AGAIN. Andrew had a rough day; things just didn’t go his way, he was testing the waters (testing me) and I didn’t like it. We had a little heart to heart talk, several times throughout the day. I heard myself saying things like…

“Andrew, if you would just listen to me things would go a lot better for both of us.”

“Andrew, please just listen to me. Mommy doesn’t like getting after you, but it’s my job to teach you right from wrong.”

“Andrew, why aren’t you listening? Who’s the boss, me or you?”

That night as I tucked my little blondie into bed, his piercing blue eyes staring into mine, I said, “Andrew, I love you so much, that’s why I want to teach you right. I want us to enjoy each other and have good days together. Please listen to me. Let’s have a better day tomorrow, okay?!” He said, “Alright, Mommy. I love you too.” Which was followed by a big hug and kiss that simply melted my heart.

Just look at this cheesy, mischievous grin!

The next day was much better. Andrew listened (for the most part) and our home was peaceful.

I dislike correcting my son, it doesn’t make me feel good. At the same time, I know I must correct him when he doesn’t listen. It is my job to teach him and if I don’t do it, he will never grow to be the man God created him to be. God gave me (and my husband as well) this authority and responsibility. The growing process can be hard, but it is necessary. Because I love him, I will teach him right from wrong.

It hit me hard…this must be how God feels about me! Sometimes I’m outright defiant. I want to do it my own way. Things don’t go so well, and then I wonder why.

It’s as if he’s saying to me, “Why don’t you listen? Things would go a lot better for both of us if you would just listen. Please just listen, I don’t like correcting you, but because I love you I want to teach you my ways so that you can grow. Who’s the boss, me or you?!” YIKES!

“My child, don’t make light of the Lord’s discipline,
and don’t give up when he corrects you.

For the Lord disciplines those he loves…”
Hebrews 12:5-6

Who’s the authority…who’s in charge? Our loving Father corrects us, the growing process can be difficult, but it must take place if we ever want to grow to full maturity. We do things our own way, and then wonder why things aren’t going so well for us. He says, “Follow me!”

How about you? Do you feel convicted in any areas in your life? Is your loving Father correcting you? Will you listen and learn? His way is the best way! Is He gently and lovingly correcting you. He’s saying, “Just listen to me.” He’s helping you grow into the person He designed you to be.

It is a new day. Repent of (turn away from) your sin (whatever it is) now! Be forgiven by your loving Father…and go forward! His mercies are new EVERY morning!

Oh, and if we keep on listening, there will be much better days ahead! :)

“The faithful love of the LORD never ends!
His mercies never cease.
Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning.”

Lamentations 3:22-23

Everyday Moments

2010-09-24T14:37:00.003-05:00

Lately I have been praying to see God, to be used by God, to be aware of His presence in those ordinary, everyday moments of my life.

In Sunday school this week, I shared the story of baby Moses with my kindergarten girls. As I shared, I thought of all the ordinary moments that led to some very extraordinary events in God’s big plan. You probably know the story...

A mother, trying to save her baby takes a basket lined with tar down to the river. She put him in the basket and into the water believing and trusting that God would protect and preserve her baby’s life somehow (but not knowing how!). I believe Moses’ mother must have prayed for guidance on what to do. Otherwise, what would possess you to do this?

The mother leaves Moses’older sister, a young girl named Miriam, in charge of watching him from the reeds. Miriam didn’t know she would be used by God that day, she was simply obeying her mother’s wishes to watch her baby brother. But, when the time was right, God impressed upon her young heart, just the right thing to do and say…and without fear she stepped up to the challenge. She spoke up and made a request of the princess who found him.

Even the princess didn’t know that anything out of the ordinary would take place on that very ordinary day. She went about her normal activities…this time going to the river to take a bath. But, what happened next changed the course of history. I have no idea what the princess’ relationship was or was not with God, regardless He must have impressed something upon her heart, causing her to feel love for this baby as she opened the basket. You know she could have ordered her maidservants to deliver him to her father, the king, who ordered that all of the Israelite baby boys be put to death, she didn’t!

God was watching over baby Moses, his mother, his whole family…and an entire nation of people! As you probably know, Moses became a mighty man of God and he lead the Israelites out of slavery…and towards the Promised Land. God had a plan for Moses’ life and he used many others to get him there.

God still works like this today! Psalm 33:15 describes God’s watchful care, “He has made their hearts and closely watches everything they do.” He isn’t some distant, far off God. He is a personal, loving Father.

The other day I sent an e-mail to a dear friend who is going through a tough time. I told her that I would pray for her, added a scripture for some encouragement and closed the note. At the end, I wrote out the prayer that was in my mind and heart at that moment. I didn’t intend to, I just did. A few days later I saw my friend. She hugged me tightly and declared that my e-mail was just what she needed…especially the prayer at the end. She told me that she printed out the e-mail so she could look at it again and again. She even showed it to some of her friends and they were blessed. I thought, “Wow, what did I write?!” I had forgotten all about writing out the prayer at the end. I still don’t remember exactly what I wrote, but that’s okay. God knew just the words she needed at that moment!

One day this week I was in Mc Donald’s play place with my sons. There was another mom there who seemed lonely and I felt led to talk to her. I prayed in my mind for guidance and words. Before I knew it, she struck up a conversation. We talked…and I’ve been praying for her ever since. I think it’s just what she needed.

Yesterday evening, I sat down on the floor in my living room near where my boys were playing, to read a Christian book about parenting. As I read the book this question crossed my mind and heart, “What do my kids learn by watching me?” I was praying about this in my mind, telling God that I often feel like I fail in this area. Within a couple of minutes Andrew, my 3 year old, ran into the other room, grabbed his preschool devotional book and said, “Mommy, we need to read my devotions!” I asked, “What made you think about that right now?” He said, “That’s what you’re doing.” Wow, God, you are good!! Thank you for the reassurance that sometimes with your help I do “get it right.” That’s just what I needed to hear at that moment!

I am not telling you this to brag on myself!! I am telling you this to brag on God!! Many times I fail. It is by God’s grace that I “got it right” in these moments. I’m flawed and sinful; I get wrapped up in myself many days. Yet, it’s amazing to me how He can use me, a VERY ordinary woman, to speak His words to a broken heart, to live His message out loud in everyday moment…that is: when I’m obedient to His prompting.

“The remarkable thing is not that I sin, but that, in spite of my sin, I am capable of having fellowship with God and being used by Him for His purposes in the world.” Ibid., 102

God works in our very real lives…whether we’re working on some big ministry project or sharing encouragement with a friend via e-mail, facebook or on the phone. Planning a missionary trip to some far off country or simply (which is not so simple at all!!) being a missionary to those in our lives right where we are, every day (starting #1 with our family!!). God is THERE…in the big things and the small. He’s with us in the everyday moments of life. He is interested in EVERY detail of our days. That’s why he tells us to “pray about everything” in Phil 4:6! It’s amazing and humbling to watch Him work through us when we follow His lead.

How are you seeking Him daily? Do you believe He cares about every detail of your life? How are you being watchful of and prayerful about what He wants to do in, through and around you today?

O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me…you know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts…you see me when I travel and when I rest at home…everything I do…know what I’m going to say before I say it…you go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand. Psalm 139:1-6

Yes, it’s too great for us to really understand, but it’s TRUE! Thank you, Lord, for caring about every detail of our lives…knowing just what we and others need at every moment! Please help us to be more sensitive to Your promptings in these everyday moments of life, living to serve and honor You rather than focusing on ourselves. Thank you for loving us and working through us despite our failures and flaws. We love you, Lord! Amen.

Looking Too Far Ahead...

2010-09-09T12:15:00.002-05:00

One of my earliest memories involves my teenage brother, a gravel road, a little red wagon, a big red dog and an irrational fear.

I’m not sure exactly how old I was. What I do know is we still lived on a gravel road out in the country, we moved to town a month before I turned 3 years old. I was young! My big brother, Josh, was taking me on a walk, pulling me in a little red wagon. We looked down the road a ways…where we were headed, there was what looked like a BIG BLACK CREATURE heading our way. My brother pointed it out to me, I was immediately scared to tears.

What could it be?! Josh wanted the two of us to go see, but I cried, “No!” He said, “Stay here…and I’ll go see what it is.” I was so scared! What if this vicious creature devoured my beloved brother. What if it came to eat me?! My little heart and mind was full of fear!

I watched at Josh walked…finally reaching the “creature”. To my surprise he started walking back my way WITH the creature at his side. Was he crazy?! As they approached the creature’s form started to take shape. My fear changed to delight…a BIG RED DOG!!

Note: I sure didn’t trust Josh much, did I? I should have trusted him more. He was trustworthy. It wasn’t at all what I thought!!

I hopped out of the wagon to meet my new friendly dog friend. He was obviously a young dog, full of spunk and energy. I remember him licking my face as I giggled. What a pleasant surprise! I liked him so much and wanted to keep him. We fed him bologna (a nutritious meal for a dog, don’t ya think?!).

This 30 something old memory is very vivid. But, when I think of it, I am reminded that things aren’t always what they seem. Sometimes we look too far ahead in the future! Sometimes we project what we think might be, when we have no idea what really will be! We spend so much time looking ahead, worrying, trying to figure it all out. Wanting to know how it will all play out.

Jesus said, “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring it’s own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” Matthew 6:34

We don’t know what tomorrow will bring. What we do know is WHO has our future in His hands!

"For I now the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

We don’t have to be consumed with irrational fears. We don’t have to have it all figured out. We just have to TRUST. Read what Jesus said just before he said, “Don’t worry about tomorrow.”

“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” Matthew 6:33

Take it one day at a time! It’s okay to make our plans and have goals, but really it’s most important that we follow Him day by day, moment by moment. Looking too far ahead can be overwhelming. However, today we can seek Him and His righteousness above all else. We can find peace, hope and purpose in the daily routine of our lives. We have no idea what tomorrow holds, so why not live life to the fullest…obeying, trusting, loving, and serving today.

“We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps.” Proverbs 16:9

I’m not saying we should just sit where we’re comfy looking ahead at the “big creature,” never getting out of the wagon. No, I’m saying, trust the puller of the wagon! Don’t look too far ahead, trust Him just for today, just for this moment…and you may be surprised what good thing comes out of it. It’s probably not going to turn out the way you thought! But, you can bet He has a plan and you can TRUST Him…one day at a time!

Lord, I will serve you just for today...not looking too far ahead, trying to figure it all out. I know You have a plan for my life and that I can trust You and Your plan. Thank you for loving me, giving me a future and a hope. Give me the strength, wisdom and revelation to follow You closely each day because that's what this life is really all about. Amen

But God...

2010-09-01T16:34:00.003-05:00

Last Friday Alan and I celebrated our anniversary. It’s been six years since we said, “I do.”

Just look at us all bright eyed and bushy tailed...

The wedding ceremony had just ended, I laid my head down on
his shoulder. We were so happy (and Alan was thrilled to get 'er done).
This is my favorite wedding picture.

We hadn’t known each other very long. We met on the internet, on a “Christian” website. Alan and I aren’t necessarily big advocates for internet dating, but in our case, it was simply the tool God used to bring us together. It was my first week on the website and Alan’s last. I only paid for one month. I often joke that, that was the best $9.99 I ever spent! :)

We met face to face at the end of April, got engaged at the end of June and married at the end of August. What a whirlwind romance! Yet, I was never more sure of anything in my life! Alan felt the same way, the first time we met he told a friend that he had just met the girl he was going to marry. It all seemed so crazy, but I knew God had brought Alan into my life. I knew, I just knew he was the answer to my prayers (and yes, I had been praying them)!

Some people couldn’t believe it when we said we were engaged…and getting married in 2 months. For me, marrying Alan would mean moving from Indiana where I was born and raised, to Iowa, 8 hours away. It would mean moving from town to a farm…being a farmer’s wife, something I knew very little about. I’m not normally one to make rash decisions, but I knew, I just knew, this was where God was directing me.

We were married on August 27, 2004. We had “Only God Could Love You More” sung. Although I believed those words to be true that day, it seems strange how much more true those words are today. I stood there looking at Alan as my brother sang the words of that song, thinking of the wild turn of events that had brought us to that day. It seemed like a dream, but I knew God had made it my reality.

We went to Cancun on our honeymoon. We learned a lot about one another and a bit about conflict resolution on that trip. He ended up with “Montezuma’s Revenge.” I lost one of the lenses from my prescription glasses (the ones I’m as blind as a bat without!!) in the Gulf of Mexico. Oh, the memories! :) Actually, it was a great trip with only a couple minor (okay slightly major) obstacles to overcome. It was just the beginning of challenges that face all married couples, but God gave us the grace and wisdom we needed!

The months to follow were sometimes challenging and often very fun as we learned what married life was really all about. Sometimes the growth process can be hard, and we did a lot of growing, adjusting and changing as those first couple of years passed. We have faced some bumps in the road, but God continues to bless us, stretch us, and grow us…closer to one another and closer to Him! We have learned a lot about true love, sacrifice and patience. I can even drive a tractor now when I need to. ;)

Six years…time flies when you’re having fun, sharing life with your best friend! Our images have changed a bit, we’ve matured in more ways than one. :) We’ve even added a couple of children to the mix, our two precious boys. Another abundant blessing! Ironically, Alan and I both feared that we wouldn’t be able to have children, but God had a different plan.

Andrew's busy learning new things...

Noah's showing off his first two teeth...

We are thankful because we know God brought us together, no doubt! We are thankful for all of God’s blessings as we’ve continued to seek Him! We are thankful because we know He holds our tomorrow as well! None of it would have been possible “…but nothing is impossible with God.” Luke 1:37

HAPPY 6th Anniversary, honey! It’s more true today than it was then, only God could love you more!! Here’s to 60 more!! I love you!

What are you beliving God for right now? What are you praying? Let me tell you, meeting Alan didn't happen "fast enough" for me. In the mean time, I tried taking things into my own hands...and made a big mess for myself. When I stopped trying to do things on my own, and surrendered my life to Him, things changed for me! Perhaps you know what you want your life to look like, but are you surrending it to God? I'm a witness here to tell you, His plans are way better than ours!!

Who I Was, Who I Am

2010-08-24T15:05:00.002-05:00

It's been a long time since I had written a poem...years. However, yesterday as I made the long drive from my home to my favorite chiropractor's office, I began to think about the grace the Lord has showered upon me. I thought about the sin of my past, where I was...where I was headed and I became overwhelmed with thanksgiving. I found myself praising God and thanking Him for His redemption. Before I knew it, words to a poem started flowing. I scrambled to find a pen and piece of paper in the vehicle console. I found them and began to scribble the words on tiny corners of this already written on sheet of paper. Note: this was very safe as I drove along the highway (probably worse than text messaging while driving!). :) The words were barely legible, but they were there...for me to decode when I got home. :)

I haven't been a very consistent blogger for some time now...so many things to write about just haven't taken the time to post them. I will get back in "the swing of things" some day. For today, I wanted to share my poem with you.

Who I Was, Who I Am

My heart aches as I think of who I once was,
The empty, dreadful person I have been,
Doing as I pleased - wretched, wandering.
My life was boldly full of self and sin.

I was entangled by my own selfishness,
Ignorantly thinking I was independent and free,
So overcome by the world’s fleeting joy,
A noose around my neck, yet I could not see.

Sorrow fills my being as I think of where I was,
Yet, joy and gratefulness fill me more as I pray.
Consumed by forgiveness as I go to my Father,
His grace frees me to close the past, focus on today.

Praise God! His amazing grace falls fresh on me,
My sins are washed away and long gone.
I have put on His cloak of righteousness,
Filled with His Spirit, power and a new song.

No condemnation, no fear or doubt,
No use to hold onto who I was then,
I am forgiven, set truly free for eternity,
Dread replaced by praise; self replaced by Him.

Not living by my own weak, limited ability,
Rather, depending on His strength that fills,
Knowing nothing is impossible for those who believe.
My future is bright as He shines the light that heals.

I am not who I was because I have the “I AM,”
No longer have to live in shame and sin,
He loves me just as I am, yet helps me to change,
Growing, changing, knowing who I am in Him.

Written by Rachel Beran 8-23-10
(Please do not use without permission from Rachel Beran)

Do you know His Amazing Grace? What does it mean to you? If you do, thank Him today! If you do not, what are you waiting for? It's a free gift and you'll never regret reaching out to take it! If you would like someone to pray for/with you, I am always available. E-mail me rachel.beran@yahoo.com

It's a Dare!

2010-08-11T23:01:00.001-05:00

“Have you ever let yourself dare to believe that Jesus would love to show Himself to you?” Lysa TerKeurst

This summer I’ve been co-facilitating a women’s book study. We’re reading “Becoming More Than A Good Bible Study Girl” by Lysa TerKeurst. It has been a wonderfully, enlightening study that I highly recommend to all women!

This week we discussed how God wants to help us in “Our Struggles” and then moved into “Our Thoughts.” This week Lysa asked the question above. It’s worth repeating, “Have you ever let yourself dare to believe that Jesus would love to show Himself to you? Not in a physical sense but in a spiritual sense.”

What do you think? Have you dared to believe this? Have you ever even thought of it? Does this sound radical to you?

My eyes have been opened recently to the fact that many Christian women; women who have asked Jesus into their heart; women who go to church and study their Bibles; women who have truly made a commitment to honor, serve and love Jesus don’t believe this, not truly. This sounds like a radical, outlandish idea to many. Some have never even had it cross their minds. Why would Jesus love to show Himself to us?! Maybe the more appropriate question is, “Why not?”

We were created in the image of Jesus. We are the children of God, co-heirs with Jesus (his siblings!!). If we are “born-again” (asked Jesus to be our Savior) we have the Holy Spirit (God’s own spirit!) dwelling within us…and we can operate in the power of it!

A scripture passage most of us have heard and know well, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path.” Proverbs 3:5-6

In my own words: trust Him with ALL your heart (holding nothing back), do not depend on your own limited understanding (instead seek His vast, all knowing, complete understanding). Acknowledge Him in everything you do (all day, every day make the choice to see, hear, feel Him working in all you do, say, think) and He will show you the way to go. How can He show you if you’re not even looking for Him?! He wants to show Himself to you…show you His path for your life, but first you have to be looking!

Jesus is not seeking people to follow a religious routine, He’s seeking people who are “sold out” believers; daring to believe that He is real and actively working in our lives! He wants a relationship with us. That’s why He created us! Have you ever had a successful relationship with someone who didn’t want to reveal things about themselves to you? Of course not!

As Lysa wrote in Chapter one of “Becoming More Than A Good Bible Study Girl”, “Setting our hearts and our minds on God and letting His truths change us, rearrange us, and redirect us will help us not just to know the message of Christ - but to live it out loud!” Amen!

I don’t think it’s too radical at all to believe that Jesus wants to show himself to us. He is a real and personable Lord! He hears our prayers (Ps 34:15). He loves and cherishes us (Is 43:4). He understands the groaning of our hearts (Rom 8:26). He delights in every detail of our lives (Ps 37:23). Why would a God who knows us so personally; One so loving and kind; not want us to know more about Him? Why wouldn’t He want to make Himself and His presence obvious in our daily lives?

Who wants a stale, ritualistic religious routine? I’d prefer a vibrant, thriving personal relationship with a loving Savior who wants to show me just how real He is in my very real life! How about you?

“Draw close to God, and God will draw close to you.” James 4:8

***Does Jesus want to show Himself to you? Of course He does! Dare to believe it, sister! It will change your life!!***

“God, I want to see You. God, I want to hear You. God, I want to know You. So that I can follow hard after You every day.” A prayer by Lysa TerKeurst

P.S. Lysa TerKeurst will be at Rise & Shine Women’s Retreat in October! Check out the link above!

Sweet Williamine

2010-07-24T15:14:00.005-05:00

A dear lady friend from our church passed away on Wednesday evening. Williamine Woolworth was 97 years young.

Williamine was a woman you could always count on to share her words of wisdom and encouragement. After the service on Sunday morning she would greet me (and everyone else) with a handshake and big smile. The love of Jesus came shining through her each time our paths crossed! I often asked her how she was doing, and although I knew many days she wasn’t feeling well, she wouldn’t complain. Instead she would praise the Lord, then say something like, “Well, I’m 97 years old, you know?" :)

I met Williamine 6 years ago when I first came to this church. The more I got to know her the more I appreciated her and the godly example she set for us younger women. Although I didn't know her in her younger years, it was apparent that she had spent many years loving and serving Jesus, and that she had spent much time getting to know him personally down through the years. Her relationship with Him wasn’t just a religious routine, it was real and very personal! She had a good understanding of God’s Word…and was swift to live it out and share what she knew with anyone who would listen. Although her body had aged, her mind was sharp!

At her age, having faced a couple of big falls and some health issues, she hadn’t given up on being productive and evangelical. She was still sharing the love of Jesus with others around her. Just 2 or 3 years ago she took it upon herself to raise money for a Christian women’s organization to combat abortion (an issue she felt strongly about). She filled out and mailed little cards to several women requesting a small donation, hoping to raise just a little bit of money. She was so pleased to share with me that with my donation she had raised $100.00 to send in (a lot more than she had ever hoped for). She told me that at her age there weren’t a lot of things she could do, but that was something she could do…so she did it. Amazing! I'm sure she did many other things like this that I don't know about.

Williamine had also not become stale in her walk with the Lord. She wanted to continue to learn and grow in Him. This was apparent as she participated in women’s Sunday school. She even registered to attend Rise & Shine Women’s Retreat last year! Unfortunately, she wasn’t able to attend because she felt ill that weekend. Still, she set an example before me, reminding me that no matter what age we are, no longer how long we’ve served the Lord, we never “arrive.” We keep seeking more of Him!

Even in the last couple of months I had a few opportunities to talk with Williamine. As I said before she was such an encouragement. This was something that came naturally for her. She wasn’t a woman who “tickled your ears.” No, she was rather to the point and said what she thought, so getting a compliment from her meant a lot. A couple of times she encouraged me as a leader. Another day she encouraged me as a young mom with two small boys. Her words caught me off guard, but I stored them away in my heart. They meant so much coming from such a godly Christian lady! I felt like I was hearing the words from Jesus himself, it was Him speaking through her. These words were just what I needed at the moments she shared them.

Just a few weeks ago I found myself chatting with Williamine again after church. She told me that she didn’t know why the Lord was allowing her to continue to live. She said she didn’t know what her purpose was, but she knew that He must still have something for her to do, that He must not be done with her yet! I was (and am) thankful for the chance to tell her how I felt. I said, “I know one reason for sure, you’re such an encouragement to all of us here. Each week you come here with your big smile, words of wisdom and encouragement. Many times you have been an encouragement to me.” She thanked me with a smile on her face and a gleam in her eye (which she often had!). Then, she shared that I wasn’t the first person who had said something like that to her that day. My eyes tear up even as I write this. I'm so grateful I got the chance to tell her how special she was! What an incredible lady, still wanting to be used of God, seeking His guidance and will for her life even at the very end.

I am rejoicing that Williamine is now in the presence of Jesus, praising the very One she has been serving all these years. She’s completely whole, no pain or sorrow. Praise the Lord! I look forward to seeing her again someday!

At the same time, my heart aches for her beloved daughter, Alice. Even though Alice knows their parting is temporary and that her mother is in a much better place, she is going to miss her dearly. Please keep Alice in your prayers as I am as well.

As I have thought about Williamine so much the last couple of days, and have reflected on the life she lived, I feel challenged. I want to be remembered like Williamine will be remembered. I don’t want to just live my life being a “good person” who did “nice things” for people. That’s all good, but way more than that I want to be a woman who is remembered for the way she served the Lord…living out His message in daily life, in big and small ways. To be called a godly, Christian woman! To never quit looking for new opportunities to serve others in Christ’s love, no matter where I am in life, no matter how old or young, well or ill, able or unable. To remind others of how good He is, being content, even while going through tough life circumstances. To share life giving words with others, not just tickling their ears, but for God’s words to fill my lips. To inspire others to seek Him more, always! To teach others by example!

Williamine was a Titus 2 woman…

“…teach the older women to live in a way that honors God…The older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good…” Titus 2:3-5

I want to be a Titus 2 woman as well! I’m thankful that Williamine lived this out for me to see, teaching me in word AND deed! I bet she has the most beautiful crown!!

Do you know a Titus 2 woman? If so, thank her for her influence today. Are you a Titus 2 woman yourself? Let’s strive to serve Him and others as God’s Word directs us!

Push Past

2010-07-16T18:14:00.002-05:00

My little Noah turned 3 months old on Tuesday. That same day he decided to roll over for the first time when I was away at book study. I was pretty sad that I missed this “first” for him, but reminded myself that I’ll get to see him do it many more time.

The next day, I watched as he worked so hard to get his body to cooperate with his goals. The look of concentration on his face was priceless. When I laid him down on his back, he would push with his foot and easily roll over onto his side, making great strides towards his belly. Then, he came to a halt as his pesky arm got in the way. :)

He pushed harder! He wouldn’t give up. He had made up his mind. He had been working towards this for weeks…making strides, building up his muscles to get to this point. There was no going back! He just kept trying. He pushed as hard as he could, making all kinds of grunting noises, until finally he found the strength to push past this great obstacle called his own arm. :) He did it!

He proudly looked around in triumph...

As I watched Noah working so hard towards his goal, I wondered if I am that determined when it comes to my walk of faith. As I face obstacle in my everyday life, do I push past them to reach my goals and become the woman God created me to be?

As women (and a human beings in general) it is so easy to be held back by the pain of the past, the struggles of today, fear of failure and our own insecurities. We often let our feelings and emotions rule rather than allowing the strength of the Savior to guide us.

We will never push past these obstacles unless we start depending on HIS strength, rather than our own. We get so far, then get held back by our own “arm.” We push and push to achieve, but we’ll never make it to our goal (and His) without pushing with His strength in us! It’s not a sign of weakness to depend on Him. It takes flexing our faith muscles to keep pushing forward!

Jesus said, “Anything is possible if a person believes.” Mark 9:23

What if little Noah would have given up? He would have never known what he is capable of. Noah kept building up those muscles, pushing until he found the strength inside, until he did it! At first, it was a little awkward. Even once he rolled over, his neck was weak, his head a little wobbly. After a couple of days and several more rollovers, his neck is strengthening. He could still be just lying there on his back, waiting for something to happen, but now…

He’s enjoying the view! A new found freedom!

The Enemy would love to keep us bound up by our own weaknesses! He wants us to give up, lying there completely helpless and ineffective, never reaching our full potential. He doesn’t want us to push past them, finding God’s strength within.

If we are Christians we already have the power of the Holy Spirit living within us (II Tim 1:14). That means that we have the strength in us to push past the lies of the Enemy, the circumstances of everyday life and our own feelings of inadequacy. We must learn to draw from the strength within, surrendering all to Him, knowing that we are dependant on HIS strength alone!

For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13

Noah will continue to grow, learn and mature from here. With a little practice, before we know it, he will be sitting up, crawling, walking and even running! Things that seem impossible for him now, are within his reach if he just keeps pushing forward.

This journey of faith is ongoing for us as well, my friend. It will continue until we are, “…mature, just as Christ is, and we will be completely like him.” We are a work in progress. We will never “arrive” or get it perfect in this lifetime. Still we must move forward, strengthening our spiritual muscles, maturing in Christ.

We can't give up! We must keep turning to Him, asking for His strength and relying on it!!! The more we depend on His strength the more natural it will become. The possibilities are endless. Things that seem impossible are possible for us too…when we rely on His strength! Do you believe it?!

For nothing is impossible with God. Luke 1:37

Feelings

2010-07-09T12:42:00.002-05:00

Ever feel weary? I know where you can find rest…

Come to me, all who are weary and heavy laden (burdened), and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

Ever feel hopeless and desperate? There’s a place to go for that too…

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

Ever feel doubtful and scared? God’s Word says…

When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer. Psalm 94:19

Feeling insecure and uncertain? There is hope...

But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence.

Jeremiah 17:7

Do you feel ashamed? No need, you can be radiant with joy...

Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces.

Are you feeling lonely? Scared? You are not alone, He is with you...

I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you. John 14:18

Are you feeling worried? There’s someone who cares, a friend…

Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. I Peter 5:7

Feeling anxious or uncertain? There’s an answer for that…

Let all that you are wait quietly before God, for your hope is in him. Psalm 62:5

Do you feel that you can’t change? Unable to overcome? It’s NOT true (even though the Enemy would love to keep you there)...

The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure. I Corinthians 10:13

Feeling defeated? Don’t know if you can go on? He’s an overcomer and with Him you can be too...

I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world. John 16:33

Do you feel lost or uncertain where to go next? He will show you the way...

The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you. Psalm 32:8

Feeling fearful? Afraid? He’s holding your hand...

For I hold you by your right hand - I, the Lord your God. And I say to you, “Don’t be afraid. I am here to help you.” Isaiah 41:13

Feeling restless and in need of peace? You can only find it one place…

I am leaving you with a gift - peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world can not give. So don’t be troubled or afraid. John 14:27

These are promises from God’s Word, dear friend! And unlike the world, God always keeps His promises! And unlike our own feelings, God never lies!! If we read it in His Word we CAN count on it, it’s true! All we have to do is except His promises! If we go to Him in faith believing, we WILL receive!! (Matthew 21:27) If we will simply ask, His peace is ours!! He doesn’t say He might give it to us, He says He WILL!

Don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you WILL experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand (passes all understanding or comprehension!). His peace WILL guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

Struggling in one or more of these areas? I encourage you to take the corresponding promise from scripture above (or look up some for your own in the concordance of your Bible or at www.biblegateway.com, write it on a 3x5 card, carry it with you and meditate on it this week. Fill your mind and heart with the truth of God’s Word…and be set free from these negative, defeating feelings!

Remember feelings lie, God (and His Word) does not!

Freedom

2010-07-03T21:50:00.001-05:00

I love Independence Day!

I enjoy gathering with family and friends...

for cookouts, food and water fights

I especially enjoy the FIREWORKS!

I am incredibly thankful for my freedom as an American!

I am thankful for all the brave ones who have served...

many of them shedding their blood and giving their life

so that I can enjoy sweet American freedom!

I am also incredibly thankful for the freedom I have in Christ!

I am thankful for the One who came to serve...

to shed His blood and give His life

as a ransom for mine

so that I can enjoy TRUE freedom!

He is rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom

with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins.

Ephesians 1:7

And you will know the truth,

and the truth will set you free."

John 8:32

So Christ has truly set us free!

Galatians 5:1

Let's Talk! Tuesday

2010-06-29T10:14:00.002-05:00

Random thoughts for Let’s Talk! Tuesday…

1. I haven’t taken the time lately to sit down and compose a blog post, so sharing some random thoughts sounds good. I’ve had many blog posts whirling through my head, yet the words never quite seem to make in onto my blog. Hmmmm…maybe someday soon. If I didn’t have to sleep I could get so much more accomplished in a day. :-)

2. Did you know that when a baby is born it has 20/400 vision? By 3 months old it’s more like 20/50.

3. Last Tuesday we had a Rise & Shine Women’s Retreat team meeting. We took some extra time at the beginning of the meeting to pray together. It was amazing how the meeting flowed, how much we accomplished with the short time we had left after our prayer time. It just goes to show when we give God the time He deserves, He is faithful to multiply the time we have to accomplish our goals, and His!

4. My boys are growing like weeds…very cute weeds!! :-)

5. Maybe it's more appropriate to say they are growing like corn...Andrew (3) and his daddy (my dear husband) planted two rows of corn in his sandbox. They even fertilized it a couple of weeks ago. :) My little farmer in training...

6. Wonder what my boys will choose to do with their lives…doctors, pastors, chefs, architects, pilots, professional athletes…the possibilities are endless. No matter what they do, I pray they will find their worth in who they are in Christ!

7. I’ve been thinking lately (scary, I know!), what good is our “faith” if every time something “big” happens in our lives we loose it? That’s not really faith at all. As Christians (Christ followers) what should set us apart from the rest of the world, is the hope and peace we feel and exhibit to others when things don’t go as planned. I’m not talking about being fake. I’m talking about making the choice to praise Him even when life doesn’t make sense. This can be extremely difficult, I know, I’ve been there. Still, we have to keep the bigger picture in mind. Remember His faithfulness, “keep the faith”! God is in control…always has been, always will be! AND we can trust Him…even in unsteady times!

“Let all that you are wait quietly before God, for your hope is in him.”

Psalm 62:5 (emphasis mine)

8. My little Noah (2 1/2 months) laughed out loud for the first time this past week. Oh, the joy! :-)

(appropriately his shirt says, "Little Sunshine!" :-)

...my heart is filled with joy. I burst out
in songs of thanksgiving.

Psalm 28:7

9. Feeling overlooked? Underestimated? Insecure? God told Samuel (in I Samuel 16:7), "Don't judge by appearance or height...The LORD doesn't see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." Praise God we are loved, significant and worthy in HIS sight! Can I get an Amen?!

10. Better get off the internet, Andrew is outside and I can hear running water! Yeah, better go check on that…

Until next time… remember to keep looking UP, friends!! :-)

Second Chances

2010-06-16T13:39:00.003-05:00

I’ve heard it said, “God is a God of second chances.” I agree with that, but at the same time I don’t. I’m a person who has had second chances, third chances and chances upon chances, so I know all about God’s abundant grace. Still, there are times when we don’t get a second chance.

That encounter with that person today may be your last or only chance to share Christ’s love with them.

Someone you love may leave this world, making this your last chance to say, “I love you”, “I’m sorry” or “I forgive you.”

If you speak words in anger (or just carelessly) you could really hurt someone, you can’t take them back and no matter how sorry you are the scars still exist.

If you’re not obedient to follow God’s lead, that door of opportunity may not open again.

If you make bad decisions you will experience the consequences.

If you break the law you will have to pay the price. Note: have you ever heard national author and speaker, Carol Kent’s story? Her son boldly shot and killed another man in a moment of rage. He is serving a life sentence in prison. Not only can he not take back that day, the other man doesn’t get a second chance either.

If you die you will not have another chance to make it right and you will also have to stand before God and answer for the decisions you made. (Rom 14:10)

Sometime, someday it WILL be your last chance!

That’s why God’s Word says, “Today is the day of salvation.” (II Cor 6:2)

That’s why we must “make the most of every opportunity.” (Col 4:5)

That’s why we must share Christ’s love with the world, being His ambassador. (II Cor 5:20) Really loving them. (Rom 12:9-10)

We may get another chance, we may not. God is not required to give us another chance. It is only by his grace that we get one. We should be grateful for every moment God gives us and not waste it! (I Tim 1:4) Each day is a gift from Him.

We don’t know when it will be our last chance. Whether we die tomorrow or years from now, we will never get THIS DAY back again. This is our one chance to live this one day!

What will you do with your chance today?

Thank God for His grace and forgiveness. Commit this day...and your life to Him. Thank Him for your second (or third or fourth or whatever) chance today. Then live THIS DAY to the fullest, seeking ways to honor Him…and I will choose to do the same! Let's not waste this day of opportunity!!

Let's Talk! Tuesday

2010-06-08T15:14:00.002-05:00

Thought I'd give this a try...joining Shelly over at Is That You Lord? for Let's Talk! Tuesday

Random thoughts for this week:

1. Can hardly believe my little Noah is 8 weeks old today. The time after the baby arrives definitely goes faster than the weeks before delivery. :) Thankful for a sweet, contented baby!

2. So thankful for the rain. We needed it. Our corn is saying, “Aaaahhhh, thank you, Lord!” It is amazing how God always provides just what we need, just when we need it. He is faithful!

3. It can be rather stressful taking 2 young children to Wal-Mart. :)

4. Reading the book, “Growing Grateful Kids” by Susie Larson (one of my favorite authors). Funny because I thought I was going to be reading a book about my kids, but really the book is about me…about my personal walk with Christ and then how to apply that to my parenting. Susie says, “You cannot impart what you do not possess. Our kids need to be grateful, but we cannot teach what we do not know. Therefore, we must become sincerely grateful people first.” Amen. I highly recommend this book!

5. It hurts when your kids hurt! I’m really just starting to understand the depth of this.

6. They are having a Fire Fighter themed VBS this week at our church. Yesterday evening they had a real fire engine there along with all the gear and 2 decked out firemen. Andrew was so excited! He even got to take a ride and he thought that was pretty special! Neat to hear how they applied fire fighting to the Christian walk of faith as well.

7. So thankful for the peace and quiet of country living. Sometimes I don’t appreciate it enough. It’s such a blessing to be surrounded by the beauty of God’s creation.

8. Looking forward to our summer book study of “Becoming More than a Good Bible Study Girl” by Lysa TerKeurst. YOU can join the online study too. If you’re interested click here for details.

9. “Proud to be humble.” God has been working in my heart lately. First about humility, then grace and now forgiveness which all tie in together. You really can’t have one without the other. I wondered where God was going with this at the beginning of this journey, but now the pieces are all coming together. I think I have a new blog post brewing!

10. Appearances. I use to be way more worried about my appearance than I would have ever admitted. It dawned on me the other day that, that has changed quite a bit. Although I want to do the best with what God has given me, I am now more concerned with what is in my heart, than what is on my body. Thankful for a better focus!

Book Study Opportunity!!

2010-06-05T13:30:00.001-05:00

The Rise & Shine women's ministry team would love for you to join us on a journey to become more! In a couple of weeks we will begin reading Lysa TerKeurst's latest book, "Becoming More than a Good Bible Study Girl." Each week plans are to read a chapter and then visit the Rise & Shine blog to share thoughts on what her words spoke to your heart.

* Learn how to make a Bible passage come alive in your devotion time.
* Replace doubt, regret, and envy with truth, confidence, and praise.
* Stop the unhealthy cycles of striving and truly learn to love who you are and what you've been given.
* Discover how to have inner peace and security in any situation.
* Sense God responding to your prayers.

If you would like to learn more about the study go to the Rise & Shine blog by clicking here.

Would enjoy connecting with you...and looking forward to what God will do through this study!! :)

Have a blessed day, friends!

The Fog

2010-06-03T22:39:00.003-05:00

Bright and early this morning, before my guys woke up, I snuck out of the house for a brisk morning walk down our quiet, gravel road. The grass was still covered with dew; fog filled the air. The fog was so thick, in fact, that the normally picturesque view of pastures, fields and woods along our road was hidden because of it. I couldn’t see very far ahead, behind or around me.

Normally, one of my favorite parts of taking a walk is taking in the view along the way. At first I didn’t like not being able to see. However, it only took me a little while to realize I didn’t need to see where I was going. I have walked (and driven) this road many times. I could remember what sights surrounded me, even if I couldn’t see them this time. They hadn’t changed and I knew that. So instead of focusing on what I couldn’t see, I found myself soaking in other senses.

I stopped on the road to listen…really listen…to the massive variety of birds chirping, the rooster crowing, the creek water flowing. I loved the sounds!

I took in the smell of fresh, clean country air, appreciating it when normally I wouldn’t have given it a second thought.

Before long I touched my naturally curly hair only to feel the moisture that had settled on it, making it even curlier. I walked in deep fog, but didn’t think much about what it was that obstructed my view. What I felt reminding me of what it really is, moisture in the air (and in my hair).

Not only did I learn to bear it, I actually started to appreciate the fog.

You know, sometimes life is kind of like that. Sometimes we go along taking in the view and it’s good. Then, one morning we wake up to find ourselves walking around in a fog.

The question is, will we stop to take in all that God has for us during these foggy times?

“Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10a

Do we stop to listen…really listen? Asking what He is trying to teach us during these times? Asking how He wants to “grow” us? Pouring our hearts out to Him, knowing that He is listening and cares. We may be surprised what we hear from Him, what He reveals to us about Himself and us. We may be surprised the blessings we experience that we would have otherwise missed. If only we will be still long enough to “see” past the fog.

"As for God, his way is perfect. All the Lord's promises prove true. He is a shield for all who look to him for protection." Psalm 18:30

Sometimes what we see and feel during those foggy times is far from the truth. That’s why we have to remember what is true. The same God that was there when things were going well, when we could see clearly ahead, is still with us even in the fog. His promises prove true. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. He hasn’t changed. We must remember even if we can not see!

So, dear friend, when foggy time come (and come they will), when we can’t see what He’s doing, when we feel alone, we must remember He is there. Remember His faithfulness in the past. He hasn’t changed. We don’t have to be able to see Him (or understand what He is doing) to know He is there, working on our behalf. We can trust Him. We can stand on His promises. We have to be still and listen. If we seek Him, we will find him…feeling His presence all around us. If we do this, when the fog lifts again (and it will eventually), we will be thankful for all that He showed to us there.

“Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken. …O my people, trust in him at all times. Pour out your heart to him, for God is our refuge.” Psalm 62:5-6,8

What will we learn, where will we turn in the fog?

Accepted

2010-05-29T10:54:00.001-05:00

This morning I posted this on the Rise & Shine Women's Retreat Facebook page. Wanted to share it with my blog friends as well. A good reminder that I often need and thought you might too!

We have been chosen. He isn't still deciding. He isn't "sizing us up." He knows our flaws. He's seen our mistakes and outright sin. BUT..."God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Rom 5:8) Let's receive and believe His love, seeing ourselves as He sees us...completely accepted and equipped to SHINE!

We didn't choose Him, He chose us (John 15:16) and nothing can separate us from His love (Romans 8:38).

Let's choose to accept His acceptance, friends!

Lord, let the truth of Your love settle in our hearts. Amen

To learn more about Rise & Shine Women's Retreat click here.
To become a fan of Rise & Shine Women's Retreat on Facebook click here.

One of Those Days

2010-05-14T16:56:00.002-05:00

Have you ever had one of those days? Yeah, me too. In fact, I think today might be one of them. J

Let me share my day with you…

It started out pretty well. Despite being a little sleepy (having a 4 ½ week old baby tends to do that), my extra strong coffee seemed to be kicking in and I had started on my to-do list. Noah (the 4 ½ week old) needed fed and so as I sat in the rocking chair, I decided I’d try to multi-task by reading a bit of my devotions at the same time.

Andrew (my 3 year old) was busily coloring with markers at the coffee table right next to me. I looked up from my book to see him under the coffee table, face and hands covered in dark blue marker, staring at me intently. He didn’t say a word, but the look on his face said, “I know I’m going to be in big trouble for this one!” It only took a moment for my eyes to shift to the floor, the light tan living room carpet next to Andrew was now also nicely decorated with dark blue marker. Ahhh!

After a little “heart to heart” conversation about consequences with Andrew, a few tears…from both him and me, I took away Andrew’s markers and sent him to time-out.

I needed a time-out too. When I was done feeding Noah, I headed to the bathroom (where else can a mom get some alone time??). I had a little conversation with the Lord. “Fill me with Your peace, patience and grace, Lord. Remind me of the many times I disobeyed you, and the grace you’ve shown to me. Thank you for being a good Father who cares enough to discipline me when I am wrong. I know it’s not fun, but necessary. Give me wisdom to know how to lovingly guide the son you’ve given me in the same way.”

Andrew’s time-out was done and another teachable moment was ceased when I decided to conquer cleaning up the carpet. I told Andrew to go to his room and play while I did this. As I was down on my knees scrubbing the carpet, the baby started crying; the knees of my jeans were wet with carpet shampoo and water, Andrew kept coming out of his room about every 30 seconds asking me if I was done yet and my husband came in (from his morning chores) looking for some breakfast. Although Alan was fine with eating cold cereal, I felt guilty for not having something more sustaining ready for him. I shared with him my morning woes, he held the baby while I scrubbed the carpet some more.

Alan reminded me that one day I will look back on this day and laugh. Oh, and I reminded him that, that’s easy for him to say when he’s not the one who has to clean it up. HA (see I’m laughing already)!! In all seriousness, as I shared the events of the morning with him (the look on Andrew’s face, the things he said, etc) we laughed together! I said another prayer, “Thank you, Lord, for a wonderful husband to share life and laughter with…and a terrific daddy for my children. AND thank you, Lord, that Andrew used the washable marker to write on the carpet!”

Later Alan had gone back outside. Noah went to sleep. Andrew and I headed out to hang some laundry on the clothesline.

Did you hear the blood curdling screams where you were?!?!

Andrew was spinning around the clothesline pole when he got a splinter in his hand! He screamed! I tried to pull it out, but only managed to get the top of it and left the other half still under the skin. We headed towards the house to get the rest of it out. Upon entering the house we heard Noah crying. He had decided that it was time for him to eat again RIGHT NOW! I told Andrew I would need to feed Noah, then we’d work on getting the splinter out (realizing that it was going to be quite an ordeal). As I fed Noah, Andrew kept coming to the back door saying, “Mommy, you need to get this piece of wood out of my hand!” J

Finally, Noah finished eating, time for Andrew’s “splinter operation”! Tears filled his beautiful, piercing blue eyes and went streaming down his cheeks, his mouth wide open with high pitched screams coming out of it, baby Noah crying along with him and my heart pounding. Andrew said, “I don’t want it to hurt!” I said, “Neither do I!” as tears filled my own eyes and I tried to explain just why I had to do this (to prevent it from getting infected, etc). He cried and pulled away! I wanted so much for him to understand that I didn’t want to hurt him, that I had to do this to keep it from hurting more later, that I was doing it to help him. Try explaining this to a 3 year old when you’re coming at him with a pair of tweezers in your hand!!

I’d never seen him carry on like that before, he’s usually pretty tough, but not today. It was really only a couple of minutes, but it felt like forever! Splinter was removed in seconds, bandage and ointment were applied, tears were wiped, hugs given.

Through this whole “splinter experience” I thought about God’s love for us. Sometimes we go through difficult things, not understanding what God is doing. Like any Good Father (parent) He hurts when we hurt. He is looking out for our best interest. Sometimes it is painful, but I know I can trust Him and what He is doing. He wants me to trust Him, just like I wanted Andrew to just trust me…even when I had tweezers in my hands. I found myself praying again, “Help me to just trust You, Lord…even when I don’t understand what you are doing, even when it’s painful. Help me to know there must be a purpose for the pain if you are allowing it to take place in my life because you are a good Father who loves His children.”

Yes, it’s been one of THOSE days…one of those days that leads me to my Savior. It’s really all about focus and perspective, isn’t it?! Thankful the Lord is walking right beside me…listening, guiding, giving peace and revealing more of Himself to me through ordinary, everyday moments.

“You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!” Isaiah 26:3 NLT

Blessings

2010-04-27T21:29:00.003-05:00

Someone told me the other day that when you bring home a new baby...

your home grows 2 feet. :)

I believe MY HEART has grown even more...

at least 2 or 3 sizes. Before having my second child I

wondered how I could ever love another little person

as much as I did my first child.

Then, amazingly enough when I saw him

my heart SWELLED.

My love is not divided...

it has MULTIPLIED!

As I've watched my newborn sleep...

I've fallen in love...again!

I've found such joy in watching my first born become

the "big brother"...

Eager to help...and gently love on his "baby bruder."

P.S. He kept calling him "Baby Jesus" for the first week or so. =)

Two beautiful faces...

both unique and special blessing from the Father!

Faces that make you smile...

and laugh out loud...

Bringing joy and merriment into our home...and hearts!

Blessed to have these 3 gorgeous guys in my life...

each of them a blessing sent straight from the LORD!

Sent to me...

me, the girl who longed for,

but always secretly wondered

if she would ever be a wife and mother.

So thankful for God's rich blessings!

BABY NEWS!!

2010-04-16T20:15:00.001-05:00

It's a boy!!

NOAH BENJAMIN BERAN

born on

Tuesday, April 13th at 9:08am

(11 days early. Didn't have to wait much longer, did I?!?!)

He weighed in at 8lb, 6oz

and was 20 1/2 inches long

Both baby Noah and Mommy are doing well.

Noah is just precious, completely perfect and

a wonderful blessing from the LORD!

Big brother Andrew is adjusting quite well

even though at first he thought Noah

should have been a girl and that we should

have named him Checkers. :)

Now he says he loves everything about his baby brother.

He's been Mommy's eager little helper.

Very sweet!

We are blessed indeed!!

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body

and knit me together in my mother's womb.

Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!

Your workmanship is marvelous - how well I know it.

Psalm 139:13-14

Thank you for your continued prayers blog friends! :)

Waiting!

2010-04-09T19:21:00.004-05:00

I’ve heard it said, “Waiting is the hardest part.” I’m not sure that’s true in every case, but for a girl like me whose greatest virtue has never been patience, I’d say it’s true more often than not. :)

I’m two weeks from my baby’s expected due date. I haven’t been feeling well the last few days. I went to my weekly prenatal checkup this morning and things are progressing right along. Yet, I wait! I try to stay busy. Then again, I wait! The waiting seems to be the hardest part. It’s nerve racking not knowing when it will happen or what to expect next. Although I’ve had a baby before, this experience could be completely different. I wonder how it will all take place, what it will be like, what my child will look like…and still I wait.

I should be better at waiting than what I am. I have had to wait a lot in my lifetime. My patience level has improved as I’ve learned more about Christ and have lived to practice more of His patience in my life…especially as a wife and mother. Still, I found myself saying a rather impatient prayer this morning, “God, would you please just let this baby come now?”

After saying it I realized that although God hears my prayers, He also knows the precise right moment for this baby to be born. He knows what’s best for me, what’s best for our baby. He created this life I’m nurturing and has already predetermined the exact number of days of my child’s life! Why wouldn’t I trust His timing over my feelings? Because I’m impatiently waiting, that’s why?!

As I thought about this it got me to thinking some more (hey, a 38 week pregnant girl has to have things to keep her mind pre-occupied, you know?!) I asked myself: How many times has God waited on me?!

I think about the time I spent running from Him and His will for my life. I had felt such a closeness to Him early in life and then turned my back on Him as a young adult. How did He feel then? I think of Him patiently waiting (like the father of the prodigal son). Then, I see Him with arms open wide and tears in His eyes as I came back to Him in repentance. He gracefully accepted me just as I was, without reservation or condemnation. He wrapped His arms around me and said, “I’ve been waiting!” Oh the joy, as He accepted His child into His arms, embracing the lamb that was once lost!

Even after surrendering my life to Christ, I have spent some time running from His perfect will for me. I’ve wasted time trying to do things my own way and running from the things He’s called me to. He’s dealt with me in a certain areas of my life, to be more obedient or disciplined, and because of my own stubbornness there have been times when it has taken me a long time to submit. I’ve failed to or at least been slow to pray over situations that have risen in my life, either forgetting the power I have available to me or foolishly thinking I could handle it on my own…or in my own strength. Again, my Father patiently waited! And eagerly answered when I called! This growing process continues in my life.

At times like these I picture Him with His head in His hands saying, “When will she ever learn?“ Even as He prompts my spirit, He patiently waits!

I’m thankful He’s never been impatient with me. He never gives up on me! He waits patiently…loving, guiding and teaching! I am a work in progress.

Oh, and I will wait also (like it or not!). Perhaps today He is trying to teach me to have more patience. When will I ever learn?! :)

Thank you Lord for being patient with me, your child. Thank you for lovingly accepting me, faults and all, embracing me with your loving kindness and grace. Thank you for your forgiveness and salvation! Forgive me now for my tendency to be forgetful, doubtful and impatient. Teach me more of Your ways and help me not to forget to seek them! Thank you for not giving up on me…even though I know you’ve done a lot of waiting.
　
…the LORD longs to be gracious to you, And therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you. For the LORD is a God of justice; how blessed are all those who long for Him.
Isaiah 30:18 (NASB)

True Freedom

2010-04-03T14:13:00.006-05:00

My life was a mess! It really was.

Despite being raised in a Christian home by a godly mother, going to Christian school, attending church regularly, making a commitment to Christ at a young age, being saturated with the truth of God’s Word day in and day out as I grew up, as a young adult I chose a different path for myself.

Somewhere along the way, even though I knew it was wrong and I consistently felt the Lord calling me back to Himself, I decided that I wanted to do things my own way. I didn’t want to answer to Him. I turned my back on Him and out into the world I went. It wasn’t one giant step, just one small step at a time. It didn't seem that bad at first. In fact, it seemed quite inviting, and for a while I thought I was having a pretty good time. I so ignorantly thought I was free. I did what I wanted.

I’ll spare you all the gory details, just take my word for it, sin took me further than I wanted to go, and kept me longer than I wanted to stay. All my “freedom” and “fun” had led to bondage. I was miserable, lost, broken. Although I promised myself that I would never feel regret, I felt an overpowering regret and oppression hover over my life like a dark cloud. I felt like my life was headed no where fast and, honestly, I wasn’t sure that I wanted it to continue.

It was in February of 2004 that my knees hit the floor. Cries from my broken heart pleaded with the Lord to forgive me for my rebellious ways. I told Him that I wanted to change. That I wanted to live for Him. That I knew that I was dirty and broken, but would He please renew me to live a life for Him and His service. I meant it and God heard my prayer.

Something extraordinary happened within me that day. For the first time in a long time, faith welled up inside me. My heart changed. I knew-I JUST KNEW-that He was doing a brand new thing in my life (Isaiah 43:18 & 19).

I changed that day…and the evolution has continued from there. As I’ve continued to surrender more to Him and His will for my life the more freedom I have experienced. I feel peace, hope and joy that was completely lacking in my life before. I know where I put my trust, and it isn’t in temporal worldly pleasures.

If there is one thing I’d like to tell the world…all people, all my friends and family and acquaintances…it would be this: there is a REAL God that works in our REAL lives in this very REAL world! It isn’t about being spiritual or religious, it’s about a personal relationship with a REAL God that loves me, and He loves you too. I didn’t always believe that, but I know it to be true in my life today. I know where I was and I know where I am now. I cringe to think of where I COULD be today, and am thankful that He loved me so much that He took me, dirty and broken, and gave me a NEW LIFE!

You can readily recall, can’t you, how at one time the more you did just what you felt like doing-not caring about others, not caring about God-the worse your life became and the less freedom you had? And how much different is it now as you live in God’s freedom, your lives healed and expansive in holiness? Romans 6:19 (MSG)

YES I DO readily recall!! And I am extremely grateful that I now live in freedom, healing and holiness. Ironically, when I gave up my life, surrendered to Christ, I found true freedom.

This is really what Easter is all about, friends! This is why God sent His son, why He chose to humble Himself to come to earth as a human; to voluntarily die a disgraceful, excruciatingly painful death; to willingly take upon Himself our sins and iniquities; to arise from death to life on the third day...so that we too may live. To live eternally, yes. Yet, also so that we can live life abundantly NOW, in true freedom with peace, hope and joy that the world does not offer. He loved us that much!!

Each of us have a choice, we can “hold on” to our lives or we can surrender them to the Savior who gave His life for us, accepting His truth, His grace and His will for our lives. It’s not a one time decision, it is a daily choice. Take it from someone who knows, you must first “lose” your life to find true freedom. He is what each of us need. None of us are “good enough” on our own…or have been “too bad” to receive His grace!

Thank You Lord Jesus for Your love, grace and mercy. Thank You for giving up Your life so that I may LIVE…and not just live, but TRULY live in the freedom only You offer. Thank you for forgiving me and allowing me to move so far beyond my past mistakes. Thank you for doing a “brand new thing” in my life. I pray that I will continue to die daily to myself, to my selfish desires, self-doubt and self-will, so that I can experience all the good You have planned for me. TRUE freedom! Give me courage to share You with others in my life…knowing that You are the life-giving Savior we all need in order to experience the abundant life we each desire. Let my life be an example. Help me shine Your light into the darkness of this world, sharing Your LIFE and love with others. May You be glorified!

Do you know Him, dear reading friend? I mean, REALLY know Him? Are you experiencing the abundant LIFE, the TRUE freedom He promises to those who serve Him? Do you believe that He died for YOU?

If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. Romans 10:9...Christ's love controls us. Since we believe that Christ died for all, we also believe that we have all died to our old life. He died for everyone so that those who receive his new life will no longer live for themselves. Instead, they will live for Christ, who died and was raised for them. II Corinthians 5:14 & 15 … anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! II Corinthians 5:17
Previously you let yourselves be slaves to impurity and lawlessness, which led ever deeper into sin. Now you must give yourselves to be slaves to righteous living so that you will become holy…You are now ashamed of the things you use to do, things that end in eternal doom. But now you are free from the power of sin and have become slaves of God. Now you do those things that lead to holiness and result in eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:19 and 6:20b-23 (NLT)

I read this quote recently, “It was not the nails, but Jesus' amazing love for us, that held Him to that cross." He had the power to remove himself from that cross, but He chose not do so.

He did this for ME. He did this for YOU. LIFE is His free gift to us, if we accept it.

I'm Huge

2010-03-21T17:42:00.002-05:00

Well, I guess it's happened...apparently I'm officially HUGE. :)

This morning after the service an older woman in our church made about 4 or 5 comments during our very brief conversation about how big my pregnant belly is getting . She said something about how I only have a couple more weeks before our baby is due. I said, "Well, about 5 weeks." She said something like, "Wow! Just imagine how huge (she might have said big, but huge is the word that stuck in my mind...LOL) you'll be in 4 or 5 more weeks!" Thanks a lot, dear sister! :)

You know, there were several other people who made comments to me today. A couple of people told me how good I look (being pregnant), three people complimented me on the purple top I was wearing (and that it's a good color on me), two people complimented my hair (and the scarf I had in it); yet the negative comments were the ones that stuck in my mind. Words really are a powerful force, aren't they?!

For our women's Sunday School class we have been studying the Wisdom of Proverbs (a study by Wendy Blight). Ironically, this week we studied Proverbs chapters 10 and 18 focusing on controlling our tongues, and that's what we discussed today. Note: the elderly lady I mentioned above doesn't normally attend Sunday school, but I'm thinking perhaps she would have benefitted from this weeks study. hee hee :)

During Sunday School we discussed how our words can either "build up" another or can "tear" them down (can give life or death). Now, I must say, I know that the dear sister mentioned above wasn't trying to hurt me with her words. We're all guilty at times of speaking words in haste, without thinking and without regard to the effects, still today her words and the positive words of others were a great picture in my mind of what was already revealed to me this week through God's Word. Our words are powerful! This was just a SMALL thing. It really was. However, it was also a GREAT BIG reminder to me that I'd rather be the one speaking positive, uplifting, life-giving words, than the one making the negative, not-so-helpful comment without even thinking.

This woman's words weren't poisonous or perverse or violent (and I'm honestly not trying to be hard on her!!). However, her words weren't exactly "life giving" either. Before we say what's on our mind it is good to ask ourselves, "Is this true? Is it kind? Is it helpful? Is it needed/necessary?"

True: Yes.  Although I haven't gained as much weight with this baby as I did with my last, I can tell that my belly IS indeed bigger. So, yes, my sister's words are True.

Kind: Although they weren't necessarily said in a mean-hearted, unkind spirit, I'd say no...not so kind. :)

Helpful: Not so much. The last thing a pregnant woman wants to hear is how HUGE she is. lol

Needed/Necessary: Nope.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, a person shouldn't make a comment to a pregnant woman about her appearance unless telling her, "You look great!" or "You're glowing." Being preggers can be tough. Why not "build up" a sister?!?! Find something positive to say. It's not like we pregnant women can help how big our belly gets.

No worries, dear reader! Although I'm using this woman's words to make a point here, I'm really taking them lightly, choosing to laugh about her comments and to consider the source. My husband and I have had some great laughs about it already several times today.

I'm not going to spend the following weeks worrying about it. Instead I'm going to enjoy it. Maybe we will have more children down the road, maybe we won't. Regardless, this special time of THIS pregnancy will only last a little while longer. So, I'll enjoy feeling the baby move within my womb (guessing whether that's a knee or an elbow that I see moving across my belly), praying for the baby's health and thanking God that we are both growing! Soon I'll get to hold and snuggle my precious baby...AND my belly will shrink. :)

My big belly will go away, but I pray that this lesson on controlling my tongue remains with me forever! I want my words to be full of wisdom, to be encouraging, uplifting, positive, peaceful, gentle, loving, kind; so I'm going to try to ask myself BEFORE I speak, "Is this true? Is this kind? Is this helpful? Is this needed/necessary?" even in the seemingly small things. If the answer is no, I pray I'll remember to zip up my lips...and spare those around me. :) LORD, help me!!

Wise words satisfy like a good meal; the right words bring satisfaction. The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences. Proverbs 18: 20-21

Marvelous Workmanship!

2010-03-13T14:19:00.003-06:00

Baby Beran is due in 6 weeks...

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body

and knit me together in my mother's womb.

Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!

Your workmanship is marvelous--how well I know it.

You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,

as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.

You saw me before I was born.

Every day of my life was recorded in your book.

Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.

How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.

They can not be numbered!

Psalm 139:13-17

Awesome! God is just awesome! As I read this passage this morning

I found myself basking in the awe of God's marvelous workmanship.

Although I already love my baby, I have felt it actively moving,

heard it's heartbeat, eagerly await it's arrival;

I do not really know my baby yet...but God does!

He is knitting this child together in my womb,

even the delicate, inner parts...my child's very being.

God has a plan for my child's life, He knows every detail.

This child has a unique purpose, no one else has ever been or

ever will be just like him/her.

Precious in His sight...even now!

But this isn't true only of Baby Beran or David who wrote the Psalm above

(or even just for my 3 year old Andrew above)...

it's true for ME and YOU!

Read the previous verses found in Psalm 139:1-6

O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me.

You know when I sit down or stand up.

You know my thoughts even when I'm far away.

You see me when I travel and when I rest at home.

You know everything I do.

You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord.

You go before me and follow me.

You place your hand of blessing on my head.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,

too great for me to understand!

He knows every detail of our lives, friends! From the beginning...

to the end and everything inbetween!

He wove YOU together in your mother's womb!

He knows YOU and the details of YOUR life!

YOU are His unique and special creation!

He has a plan and a purpose for YOUR life;

ones only YOU can fill!

He knows everything about YOU,

YOUR thoughts, feelings and dreams!

He wants to bless YOU!

His thoughts of YOU are precious...

and too numerous for YOU to count!

...they outnumber the grains of sand!

And when I wake up, you are still with me!

Psalm 139:18

Do you believe it?

Do you really believe it?!

As I apply this to my life, I find myself in awe

saying much like David did...

This is just too wonderful,

His ways too great for me to comprehend!

But I believe it and I

thank you, LORD!!

Seasons

2010-03-10T16:22:00.001-06:00

Spring is near. Not quite here yet, but I can feel it in the air. I love seeing the sunshine…and some of the massive mounds of snow melting. There will probably be some more cold, windy, snowy days before the month of March comes to an end, but we know we’re in the home stretch now.

I’m probably the only person in Iowa who would say the winter has gone fast. Although it has been a long, harsh winter, I made a decision at the beginning of it to simply keep a good attitude (not always easy!!). To help the matter, we’ve been working at remodeling our basement this winter…helping the time speed by as we’ve kept busy. Now here we are, it’s almost spring (and less than 7 weeks from our baby’s due date)!

Life is like that. The time always goes by. We have seasons in our life (like a long winter in Iowa) that we “wish away”. We tend to be always longing for something better…easier…more appealing. Then, before we know it, sure enough, the season passes and we’re on to the next one. Unfortunately, that “more appealing” season rushes by just as quickly (or more so).

The wise words of Solomon in Ecclesiastes 3:11-13 tell us, “God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. So I conclude there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can. And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these are gifts from God. “

I’m starting to understand how the older generation must feel. How often have you heard one of them say, “Just enjoy this time, it goes quickly” or like my own mom, “Don’t wish your life away.” There is wisdom in their words. They know that life is fleeting, and want us to grasp that knowledge now while there is time.

I don’t want to spend my life waiting for that next blissful season, only to find myself at the end of my life, never having enjoyed the days God gave to me! I don’t want to spend my life “going through the motions”, I want to enjoy it!

I like this quote from Jane Canfield, “The happiest people are rarely the richest, or the most beautiful, or even the most talented. Happy people do not depend on excitement and ‘fun’ supplied by externals. They enjoy the fundamental, often very simple, things of life. They waste no time thinking other pastures are greener. They do not yearn for yesterday or tomorrow. They savor the moment, glad to be alive, enjoying their work, their families, the good things around them. They are adaptable, they can bend with the wind, adjust to the changes in their times, enjoy the contests of life, and feel themselves in harmony with the world. Their eyes are turned outward, they are aware, compassionate. They have the capacity to love.”

Enjoy the simple things of life. Savor the moment. Be adaptable. Love and serve others…thinking outside of yourself. Not just when things are going good, but all the time! We may not be able to see the “scope” of God’s plan, but He can…and we can trust Him! That gives us such peace, hope and joy!

As a Christian I know that God promises me:

A rich and satisfying life. A life of fullness. (John 10:10)
Strength I need from day to day. (Phil 4:13)
To cause everything to work together for good for me. (Rom 8:38)
That He has good plans for me, giving me a future and a hope…if I look to Him. (Jeremiah 29:11-13)

God didn’t intend for us to spend our life waiting for the next season. Thinking we’ll be happier…when winter has passed, when the spring rain ends, when the summer humidity subsides, when the fall foliage displays every color, when yet another harsh winter passes, starting the cycle all over again.

Or maybe we’ll be happier…when we graduate, when we get married, when we have kids, when we land that perfect job, when we get a promotion, when our health is better, when we retire, etc.

Why do we wish our lives away?! Although it’s good to have things to look forward to, it’s good to have goals, it’s not so good to wish THIS day away. God has promised us that He will be with us. He has given us His joy as our strength TODAY.

God only gives us one life to live, let’s enjoy it!! This season will pass…and then, all too quickly, so will the next one. Let’s choose to be thankful in our circumstances TODAY, in this season.

Look around, what are you thankful for today? What moment can you savor a little more? What brings you joy in this season of life? Are your “eyes turned outward” looking for someone who could use your help seeing the beauty of the season they’re in today? Is there someone you could “love on” a little more? =)

“…let the Holy Spirit fill and control you. Then you will sing…making music to the Lord in your hearts. And you will always give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Ephesians 18b-20

Proverbs 15:15b says, “…for the happy heart, life is a continual feast.”

Mama Always Said...

2010-02-27T17:56:00.005-06:00

My mama and me (and Baby Beran). :)

As adults it’s easy to “pick apart” our parents. We often focus on the mistakes they made and the things that we want to differently with our children. We tend to forget that like them we are human, and our kids will find fault with our “perfect parenting” too (Ha! As if there is such a thing!).

Today I found myself instead focusing on all the things my mom got right. She’s taught me some things…some that I have applied, and some that I know I fall short of living fully. Still, I hope to pass on much of her wisdom, kindness and compassion to my children.

Thought maybe I’d share some her wisdom with you too. :)

Lesson 1: The golden rule, “Do unto others as you’d have them do unto you.” She taught me this not so much in word, but in action! If someone was in need she was the first one to jump in. She gave of herself without reservation, without laziness, without expectation of receiving anything in return. She often did these things silently, without bringing attention to herself, and out of the abundance of her loving, compassionate heart.

Which leads me to the next things she taught…

Lesson 2: Love others. Mom always has tended to see the best in people. She loved some pretty unlovable people. She remembered many that others forgot. She even said to love that not-so-good-looking, mean, toothless bully at school! She would remind me that even he probably had a mother at home who looks at him through adoring eyes, and more importantly a Heavenly Father who loves him unconditionally. She reminded me that everyone has a soul, and potential as a child of God.

Lesson 3: Hold your tongue. Now, I must admit I have a lot of work to do on this one, but it’s not because my mama didn’t teach me! Mom would be the first NOT to tell you that you don’t have to say everything that you think. :) If it’s not nice, or uplifting, or really needed, maybe you should just keep it to yourself. Speak up when it IS needed, in kindness and love, and because of your reputation people will be more likely to listen. You don't always have to defend yourself, trust the Lord to defend and protect you.

I’ll be honest, there were times when I was growing up when I saw this as a weakness in my mom. I would often think, “Why doesn’t she stand up for herself?” or “Why didn’t she just tell them what she thinks?” Now that I’m a woman myself I see the wisdom in sometimes staying silent. Not that I want to be a doormat, or that I can’t share my opinions when appropriate (believe me I have plenty of them!), but there is something beautiful about a woman with a gentle and quiet, reverent and respectful spirit. God’s Word says so, I Peter 3:4, “You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.” My mom has an unfading beauty that you can not deny!

Lesson 4: Being a mom is the best job in the world. Tears came to my eyes immediately after I typed those words, emotions of gratitude for the mothering that my mom doted upon me, and the love that I have for my own child(ren). I remember my mom saying this to me when I was a teenager, and for the first time realizing the passion behind her words. She meant it!

My mom made sacrifices so that she could be home with me…even as a single mom (she did daycare in our home). She recognized the importance of her role in my life, and I never doubted her love for me. She took pride in and made being a homemaking mama her primary role (even in the midst of “bringing home the bacon” as a single mom). Our home was warm, inviting and a haven for me. Even though money was tight, there was always good food on the table, affection to be distributed and words of encouragement to be shared. I thank God soooo often for the example that she set for me!! (Note: I’m looking forward to her coming up to help me after Baby Beran is born, so that I can gain more wisdom from this child expert!)

Lesson 5: Don’t be lazy. That woman is a go-getter, I tell ya! For years, I thought she must be crazy the way she kept her house clean (even in the midst of watching everyone else’s kids!)…and kept herself busy. Like the Energizer bunny, she just kept going and going (hee hee) even when I know she must have been tired. She did her work joyfully, often humming the tune to, “Oh, how I love Jesus” as she went about her work. She gave me a real life model of the virtuous and capable woman described in Proverbs 31.

Hmmmm…come to think of it, all the things my mama taught me above are described in Proverbs 31...

“She is energetic and strong, a hard worker….Her hands are busy…She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy…She is clothed with strength and dignity...When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instruction with kindness…she suffers nothing from laziness. Her children stand and bless her…a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.” Excerpts from Proverbs 31:17-31

I could go on and on and on listing things that my mama has taught me, but I’ll stop here. I’m praying that I can be more like my mom because being more like her would mean being more like Jesus.

My mom was not perfect, God is the only perfect parent, but she sure was good…and still is!!

I LOVE and APPRECIATE you, Mom!!

Tell me, what did your mama always say? What did she teach you without words? I’d love to hear!

Love Others, Serve Others

2010-02-25T12:51:00.005-06:00

I haven't been a very good blogger the last couple of weeks. The busyness of life and the achey, tiredness of third trimester pregnancy has consumed much of my time recently. In addition, I have been taking a bit of time to focus on some things that God has laid upon my heart. This focus is much needed, but hasn't left me with a lot of time to blog.

I sat down more than once to compose a post to share with you, my blog friends. Just didn't feel I could find a neat and tidy way to share all I want to say. Still don't think I can, so instead today I will share a few quotes, first from God's Word, then from other resources I have had the pleasure of enjoying lately. I think these quotes will reflect some of what I'd like to share with you.

The words of Jesus in John 13:34-35, “So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”

“Let there be real harmony…be of one mind united in thought and purpose.” I Corinthians 1:10

“…agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one heart and purpose. Don’t be selfish; don’t live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself. Don’t think only about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too, and what they are doing.”
Philippians 2:2-4

From Nancy Leigh DeMoss’ book, Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets Them Free in the chapter, Lies Women Believe…About Marriage:

“If I expect to be served, I will often be disappointed. If I seek to serve others, without expecting anything in return, I will never be disappointed. (Prov 31:10-31)”

“We are never more like Jesus than when we are serving others.
(John 13:5)”

From J. Otis and Gail Ledbetter’s book, Family Fragrance:

“Loving because someone deserves it doesn’t work. Sooner or later that kind of love will shipwreck. … The model God gave us is that affection does not need a reason, only an object.”

“Modeled day in and day out, children pick up on unselfish attitudes. They begin to live them as well when serving is done in a spirit of affection and positive feeling.”

From Lysa TerKeurst’s new book, Becoming More Than A Good Bible Study Girl:

“Instead of looking at the ministry options our church offers and asking, ‘Which one will meet my needs and feed me the way I need to be fed?’ we must look at our church and ask, ‘Where can I make a difference in the body of Christ?’’”

The message is clear: Love others, serve others. I believe this kind of unconditional, servant love begins with the people within our own home, then extends to our extended family and our church family, then branches out to the rest of the world.

What really sets us apart as Christian believers? Is the love that we have for one another something unique and special, an example to our children as well as to the rest of the world? Something to be desired? Do we show others the kind of love that Christ has shown to us?

I don’t want to be guilty of just saying that I love others and not really showing it, of being self-centered and "me" focused. I also don’t want to get so busy trying to reach out to everyone else and forsake to show Christ’s love and a servant’s heart towards those within my own realm of influence, those God has placed in my life for a very specific purpose, those that are most important to me. Not loving, serving, submitting out of duty; instead loving, serving, submitting out of a full heart...joyfully, humbly, because I really love.

I pray that the world will see the love that we have for one another and be drawn to Christ because of it.

By the way, I highly recommend each of the resources above! :)